


the words i want to say (but can't tell you)

by halokebi



Category: Inazuma Eleven, Inazuma Eleven: Ares no Tenbin, Inazuma Eleven: Orion no Kokuin
Genre: Afufubu Best Boys, Alternate Universe - High School, Complicated Happenings, I don't know who Sakuma ends up with It's up to your interpretation, I have Romantic Feelings for Afuro Terumi, Kazemaru and Sakuma are done with Midorikawa, Kira Hiroto Is Trying His Best, Love Triangles, M/M, Multi, Not Canon Compliant, Photojournalist Midorikawa, Polyamory, Tatsuya is also trying his best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-14 05:02:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 32,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28915053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halokebi/pseuds/halokebi
Summary: In the light of senior year of high school, things get more complicated than asked for. Midorikawa Ryuuji, Kira Hiroto and Kiyama Tatsuya find their lives get intertwined in the worst (or best) way possible.
Relationships: Afuro Terumi | Aphrodi/Fubuki Shirou, Kira Hiroto/Kiyama Tatsuya | Kiyama Hiroto | Gran, Kira Hiroto/Kiyama Tatsuya | Kiyama Hiroto | Gran/Midorikawa Ryuuji | Reize, Kira Hiroto/Midorikawa Ryuuji | Reize, Kiyama Tatsuya | Kiyama Hiroto | Gran/Midorikawa Ryuuji | Reize, Nagumo Haruya | Burn/Suzuno Fuusuke | Gazel, other hinted ships
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	the words i want to say (but can't tell you)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So, I realized that no one has written for these three and I just thought that I have to do something about it. This took me like about two weeks to write and yes, it was an insane two weeks. And also yes, I am pushing my Afufubu agenda here because I will die for that ship and they're my OTP. Anyway, this is a mess and I hope you enjoy it!

There was something tranquil about the way cherry blossom petals flooded the concrete ground during one spring morning. Midorikawa Ryuuji finds himself following it’s trail as he makes it to his highschool campus. It’s been safely a month since his senior year has started and he still finds himself late when he arrives.

“You know,” Kazemaru Ichirouta hums when lunch time arrives that same day. Ryuuji finds the day going too fast for his initial likings. “For someone who’s literally the smartest of our batch, you sure like to get here late. I bet you have piles of late slips stuffed in your bag.”

“The teachers don’t mind it anyway.” Ryuuji laughs in response “They know I’d still ace their subject even if I didn’t attend their class completely.”

“So all the late slips are for show.” Sakuma Jirou, who was absentmindedly picking on his half-eaten food, says in a monotone voice. The bell is about to ring anytime soon. Ryuuji wonders if the other will be able to finish it in time — or if he’d even want to. “How unfair. I was late _once_ and I was forced to clean the men’s bathroom for a week with that stupid half-bald asshole.”

“Fudou Akio?” Ichirouta asks with a snort. The other merely rolls his eyes at the sound of the name. Ryuuji offers another laugh coming past his lips. Being the top student had its perks, and with him also being part of the journalism club as a photojournalist and even having a spot in the school committee as the vice president gives him more perks than he’s supposed to have. 

“Well,” he breathes in after the laughter. “What is earned with hard labor is eaten with pleasure, or as they say.”

“You never run out of those, do you?” Ichirouta sighs out but doesn’t seem all that annoyed. Ryuuji always prided himself in the knowledge he had and who were they to doubt him about it?

The green haired shakes his head in response, “Nope. It’s built in me. Live with it.”  
  
“Unfortunately, we have.” Jirou snorts “For years now.”  
  
“You love it though.” Ryuuji raises an eyebrow. The conversation halts the moment the bell rings. Jirou discards his food and tray the moment it does. Ichirouta merely stays sitting down in favor to watch Ryuuji pack up his things, “Where you headed to?”

“Some journalism stuff. You wouldn’t understand.” He teases “I’m skipping next class.”

“You use journalism as a reason to skip any class.” Jirou chimes in before taking a hold on Ichirouta’s arm to pull him up. The latter lets the other do whatever with him, seemingly done with what the day had left to offer him. “You’re leaving us to suffer in Nakamoto-san’s boring history class. Don’t you feel any pity?”

“None at all actually.” Ryuuji smirks at his friends’ demise. He holds his camera close to him almost protectively. “The soccer team is having an after lunch practice today. I gotta do my job.”

“Skipping history class to eye-fuck the captain again? Typical Ryuuji.” Ichirouta grunts “I’m not sure how he hasn’t realized your real motives yet. I guess Kiyama Tatsuya isn’t as observant as he is on the soccer field.”  
  
“You shouldn’t be the one talking when you’re literally in love with your childhood best friend who is clearly the most oblivious idiot in this whole school.” Ryuuji counters immediately like they’ve had this conversation multiple times before.

“Ouch,” Jirou nudges Ichirouta as if he didn’t hear what the other had just said to him. “He got you there. What are you gonna say about that one?”

The boy says nothing and glares at Ryuuji who smiles innocently in response. “Have the worst day. I literally wish the worst for you.”

Jirou laughs as he pushes his friend away. He smiles back at Ryuuji, “See you after school, Midori. Snap some pictures of their cute secondary goalkeeper for me.”

Ryuuji gives him a thumbs up and watches them as they walk out the cafeteria. He leaves soon after when he finds the room almost empty.

  
  
  


━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

  
  
  


Kiyama Tatsuya looks around the changing room searching for a certain grey and white haired boy. He frowns after not being able to do so. In the end, he finds himself sighing softly to himself as he changes into his soccer uniform.

“He didn’t show up today.” Fubuki Shirou chirps up as he makes his way to the captain of the team. “It’s been what… three days already? The tournament season is coming close too.”

“And you think I’m not aware of that?” Tatsuya sighs once more as he shuts his locker a little too harshly. “I told him to show up today and he said yes.”  
  
“He might’ve not meant that.” Shirou ponders. As nice as the silver haired boy may seem, he was totally blunt when he wanted to.

“Hiroto wouldn’t lie to me.” Tatsuya says it like he’s so sure of it, and he is. “If he didn’t want to go then he would’ve told me straight in the face.”

“Maybe it’s time to give up on him.” Shirou suggests with no ill intent and was genuinely trying to supply the slightest bit of solutions. “He never listens, shows up to practice on an irregular basis and the team doesn’t even like him.” The silver haired defender leans in closer to the captain to whisper, “And I’m starting to think Goujin-kun is getting tired of warming the bench.”

“Do _you_ think he’s okay?” Tatsuya asks the boy almost at the same level of whispering as the other was doing earlier.

“He doesn’t bother me and I don’t bother him, so he’s fine I guess.” Shirou shrugs “But seriously, I think Hiroto is starting to be a lost cause.”

Tatsuya opens his mouth to speak but Shirou keeps on going, “I understand that he’s a great player and asset to this team, but how will that matter if he barely even shows up for the most of it?”

Tatsuya sighs. Shirou was right, and quite frankly, he was always right. But he’s been friends with Hiroto since middle school and even if they had ups and downs as friends, Tatsuya _knows_ him. He knows the way Hiroto works. The things he likes and dislikes. The things Tatsuya should and shouldn’t force on him. He knows how much the other loves playing the sport and how much it means to him. He also knows that the other isn’t the best when it comes to making friends or communication. It took him a while to acquire the trust the other has given him, but now that he has it, Tatsuya makes sure to treat it with utmost care and reciprocate the same amount of trust back to him.

He knows Hiroto, and he knows not to give up on his friend. Shirou seems to notice the silence that the redhead had dawned on the conversation at hand. He sighs, “But I also understand that he’s your friend and all. So I trust you when you say that everything is gonna be alright and that we just have to be patient with him.”

“Thank you, Fubuki.” Tatsuya says so genuinely that it makes Shirou feel bad for starting up the conversation they had the previous second. “I promise that he’ll open up soon.”

Shirou merely smiles in response, “Right.”

“Hey, you two!” The quietness between the two gets defeated by Endou Mamoru charging towards the two of them. “Practice is starting soon. Let’s get a move on!”  
  
“Ah, sometimes I wonder why you aren’t the captain of this team. It’s more fitting.” Tatsuya chuckles as the goalkeeper drags both him and Shirou out into the field.

“Nah, you’re a better fit.” He smiles, ever so bright. “I’ve had my fair share of captainship when I was in middle school. High school is different.” 

Tatsuya just smiles back in response.

  
  
  


━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

  
  
  


Kira Hiroto feels like he’s disappointing the world, and for numerous reasons too. He finds his journey to the changing room coming to a halt when a teacher stands before him. He has half of the mind to push him away because he recalls promising Tatsuya that he’d actually show up today — and even though he was the way he is, he wasn’t one to break promises, _especially_ the ones he makes to his redhaired friend.

After a consultation that takes more time than he’d like it to be, he then finds himself too angry to show up at practice anymore. He decides for the best and skips classes entirely. It was the end of class when he hears the door to the rooftop open and peeks in a crown of blonde hair with vermillion eyes accompanied with the shittest grey hair Hiroto has ever seen in his life.

“There you are, Hiro-kun!” Afuro Terumi strides towards him. The other boy with him follows in suit with his hands in his pockets, unbothered. “No teacher was finding you because honestly, they gave up caring about you anyway, but me and Ryouhei were worried about you.”

Haizaki Ryouhei shakes his head in disagreement, “No, I wasn’t.”

“Whatever, asshole.” He grumbles and slumps back towards the wall. “Why take my classes when I’m failing them anyway?”  
  
“Well if you’re planning to fail the grade entirely then you don’t have to.” Terumi chuckles as he sits down beside him. The angel turns serious in a split second, “Although as your friend and the student council president, I’m requiring you to improve your grades, Hiroto.”

“You don’t scare me.” Hiroto doesn’t bat an eye at the other who frowns in response. He feels Ryouhei take a seat beside him. 

“Then at least do enough to have a _passing_ grade.” Terumi reprimands “Or even better, be like Ryouhei. He makes a lot of mess but his good grades get him out of most situations. Although, it still surprises me on how he’s a brilliant student.”

“Are you insulting me?”  
  
“No, I’m setting you as an example, Mr. Demon of the school.”

“Don’t compare me to him.” Hiroto rolls his eyes to break the two’s conversation. He earns an elbow to his stomach from Ryouhei himself. “And besides, I’m aware of my grades anyway. A teacher approached me about it, and said that if I don’t improve them they’d kick me out of the soccer team.”

“I’m surprised they don’t bitch about the way you skip classes and start fights on the campus.” Ryouhei snorts. “How you’re still in this school is a mystery.”

“First of all, everytime Hiro-kun decides to pull a stunt like that, it goes through me first then to the school.” Terumi states matter-of-factly. His eyes lock with Hiroto’s, “and you’re real fucking lucky to be friends with me. Half of the shit you do doesn’t make it to the principal _because of me.”_

“Would you like a gold star for that, Afuro-san?” Hiroto smiles satrically. The blonde rolls his eyes for the nth time. 

“I just worry, okay?” Terumi crosses his arms “I’m sorry for trying to be a good friend to you, Hiro-kun.”

“Yeah, you don’t know much hair he loses every time you pull some crazy shit.” Ryouhei laughs as if his statement wasn’t the slightest bit concerning. “But seriously dude, I know you think that school is a waste of time or whatever but you have to think about your future too.”

“I missed it when I hated you.” Hiroto hums to Ryouhei who keeps a straight face at him. “and all I had to do about it was punch you so you’d shut the hell up.”

“Enough fighting, you idiots.” Terumi huffs “If it weren’t for me punishing you two by making you my servants for five months last year then we wouldn’t be all buddy-buddy right now.”

“No one asked you to do that.” Ryouhei deadpans.

“You guys always had fistfights!” Terumi argues “And might I add… _fistfights after school_ where everyone would watch you guys and bet on who’d win. Who’d have to stop them? _Me.”_

“Fun times.” Hiroto smiles eerily, before sighing “And you don’t have to worry about me anymore.”

Both Terumi and Ryouhei perk up at this statement. Hiroto begins to look embarrassed and both of them have no idea why. It was rare to see the boy like that and if he is, then something must’ve happened to be able to damage his pride a lot.

“What is it?” Ryouhei is curious and with the way Hiroto prolongs the period between the silence and his next sentence wasn’t helping him. Terumi nudges him to talk.

“They assigned me a tutor.” Hiroto admits without a second to waste.

It takes another second of silence. Terumi and Ryouhei burst into a fit of laughter.

  
  
  


━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

  
  
  


Ryuuji cursed Ichirouta in his mind more than ten times since he had been prevented from watching the afternoon practice that day. He was called to the teacher’s lounge in a hasty manner and he never even got to get a small glimpse of red hair and teal eyes. Already in a sour mood, everything gets even worse after being weighted with a new responsibility with tutoring this _kid_ every Saturday.

It wasn’t that Ryuuji was against it. To be honest, anything that gives him extra credit is always a good thing. He was just not fond of the fact that he’d have to be teaching Kira Hiroto. He’s heard a lot about him, never good things. Although, Terumi — the student body president — does talk about the latter like he was the nicest kid in this school. He likes to personally think that angel is some kind of sadist. Even so, he tries to rethink through the president’s words and hope to the universe that Hiroto is as nice as the blonde says he is.

Which ends up being the biggest lie told in Ryuuji’s life as reality sets into his body the moment he arrives at the Kira’s estate. He wishes it didn’t have to be that word but there wasn’t anything more appropriate to what this was than the word _estate._ Ryuuji almost feels like his life is worth less than the mansion in front of him. Fainting is an option at the moment but with a butler _(of course there’s a fucking butler)_ approaching him at a fast pace, he decides not to do so anymore.

“You must be Midorikawa-san.” The butler who’s really old greets him with a polite smile. Ryuuji wonders how long he’s been enslaved by this family. “Come right this way.”

He follows after the old man and makes sure to be extra careful with every step he takes. If he breaks something, then that might cost him his life and soul and probably all his bones too. The mansion was really big, even bigger than what it looked from outside. The interior was mostly made of marble and gold. There were paintings here and there. Antiques spread around the house like rainbow sprinkles on a cake.

Ryuuji wonders if he’ll make it out here alive.

He arrives at a door, not a regular door, but a door two times his size made from dark oak wood with intricate golden engravings. The butler smiles at him with such overwhelming hospitality that Ryuuji almost wants to punch it out of him. (But maybe a hospital bill might be the death of him too.)

The butler knocks at the door and opens it softly. There was an exchange of an abnormally polite conversation before Ryuuji was motioned to go in. He looks at Hiroto who bows slightly towards the butler, “Thank you, Miura-san.”

The butler smiles in response and leaves the room without any other word. Ryuuji realizes then how hard he’s been gripping the strap of his bag. The two of them meet eyes. Ryuuji speaks first, “Hi, I’m Midorikawa Ryuuji.”

“I don’t care.” Hiroto says in somewhat a harsh tone, as if he wanted to light Ryuuji on fire at the moment. It was a stark contrast from the politeness he’d extruded towards the butler earlier. It makes Ryuuji click his tongue. The dual haired notices that. “What?”

“Nothing.” He shakes his head and approaches the desk where Hiroto was standing by “I just didn’t think you were the jerk people say you are.”

Hiroto raises an eyebrow. Ryuuji smiles but it wasn’t genuine at all, “Turns out they weren’t wrong.”

“Are you sure you wanna be speaking to me like that, sweetheart?” Hiroto taunts him like he was born for it. Ryuuji is convinced that that might be the case with him. 

“Are you sure you want to be this disrespectful to me?” Ryuuji asks back. Two can play at this game. “I won’t do this if you don’t want to. You can have fun repeating a grade as the rest of us graduate. It’s not a problem with me, Kira-san. I’m easy to talk to.”

In response, Hiroto slumps down on the chair in front of the desk. Ryuuji calmly takes out a textbook from his back to which he starts looking through it with a blank face.

Hiroto tells himself that he’ll win the next round. Ryuuji wonders if this is the universe’s way of testing his patience. And with the way the dual haired barely tries to pay attention to him confirms his suspicions clearly. 

  
  
  


━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

  
  
  


“You think he’s coming today?” A voice asks in the locker room. Tatsuya dismisses it but still listens in the conversation. 

“Nah, knowing him, he won’t.” A different voice says. “I don’t think he even cares about soccer. Why is he still in the club?”

“It’s because he’s the captain’s friend.” The first voice says. “What a freeloader, huh?”

Tatsuya dismisses them. He really does, but it’s hard not to feel mad at it. He clenches his fist in an attempt to calm himself. He can’t blow up. He’s the captain. He can’t ruin his reputation because of this. He trusts Hiroto too. He really does.

“Maybe a deep breath will work.” Shirou’s soothing voice reaches his ears. Tatsuya lets out a breath. The silver haired defender pats his back, “There you go. You shouldn’t be stressing out so much.”

“How could I not?” Tatsuya sighs. Hiroto hasn’t said anything about what happened that day and it’s been nearly a week. He hasn’t shown up for practice in those said days. “Did something bad happen to him?”

“You worry too much.” Shirou laughs “and I’m pretty sure Hiro-kun is alright.” 

“Hiro… kun?” Tatsuya looks at Shirou for a moment, wondering where did the other pick up that nickname from. Hiroto never allows nicknames, and let alone he wasn’t close enough to Shirou to allow him to do as such.

“Hiro… to.” Shirou clears his throat almost nervously like his deepest secret had been revealed. “I said _Hiroto._ A-anyway, he’ll be coming in for practice today. There isn’t anything you should worry about, Tatsuya-kun! I’m sure whatever happened last week isn’t that big of a deal and maybe you’d even be happy for him.”

Shirou spits those words out like he was rapping. The latter was a bit nervous but still kept his normal princely smile on his lips. Tatsuya eyes him carefully for a moment. He must know something about Hiroto that he doesn’t, and if he did, then who could he have possibly heard it from? Instead of asking, he settles for something else, “That’s surprising coming from you.”

“What do you mean?” Shirou asks “You said to trust him and I am.”

“Right.” Tatsuya laughs and the moment he closes his locker is the same moment someone steps into the locker room. The room goes dead silent. Tatsuya meets eyes with Hiroto’s.

“You’re here.” Tatsuya smiles immediately. Hiroto just shrugs, “As I promised.”

“It’s a little too late for that promise.” Shirou jokes softly but earns a threatening look from Hiroto. The silver haired _calmly_ makes his exit from this conversation and sparks up a new one with a random teammate.

“Hey.” Hiroto approaches Tatsuya “Sorry for the other day.”

“It’s alright.” The other assures, still with his smile “You’re okay though, right? Nothing bad happened or anything?”

“Actually,” He frowns and opens his locker. Tatsuya suddenly finds himself nervous. “The worst thing has happened.”

“Is that so?” Tatsuya keeps his voice calm. Did Hiroto get into another fight or something? He _has_ scolded the boy about his endeavours in that field of gimmicks but there wasn’t any way to be completely sure.

“Yeah,” the other sighs while changing clothes. Tatsuya rips his eyes away from a moment. (And peeks at him once.) “The school was talking about how my grades are shit.”

“I told you to fix them, Hiroto.” Tatsuya puts warning into his voice and expression once being able to look back at him. “You never listen.”

Hiroto snorts at that, “Yeah, sorry, my fault. But the school has also graced me with the worst thing possible.”

“Are you expelled?” Tatsuya asks, fear drawn in his teal eyes. Hiroto stares into them for a moment before breaking into a fit of laughter. The redhead wasn’t really sure what was happening but he’s glad that he’s able to lighten up his friend’s mood even for the slightest bit.

“Worse.” Hiroto calms down before rolling his eyes. “They gave a tutor, and it’s the worst person too. I can’t stand him.”

“But it’s a good thing, you know?” Tatsuya says as the two walk out of the locker room “Even if whoever that’s tutoring you is seemingly an asshole.”

“Oh, he is.” Hiroto puts his hands in his pocket “Thinking about him makes me want to commit arson.”

“Well don’t do that now.” Tatsuya pats his friend’s back before walking ahead of him. “We still have a tournament to win.”

Hiroto smiles to himself and follows in suit.

  
  
  


━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

  
  
  


“Maybe arson is the best way to go.” Ryuuji ponders out loud as he sits in the cafeteria with Ichirouta and Jirou. “Or I’ll poison one of his rich kid baguettes and see how he’d like that.”

His two friends exchange a look. _He’s finally gone insane,_ Ichirouta says with his eyes. _About time,_ Jirou rolls his own. Ryuuji groans, “Stop shit-talking me with your weird eye language.” 

“Can’t help it. _You’re_ the one being weird.” Jirou shrugs before leaning closer to the table to look at Ryuuji at the other side. “Oh, and by the way, did you take those pictures I asked of you the other day?”

“I’m not someone who could play as your fansite, Jirou. My camera is used strictly for journalism purposes only.” Ryuuji looks at him disappointingly “and _no,_ I didn’t.”

“Why not?” He frowns. Ichirouta stays preoccupied by his phone. “If we were being _really_ honest, Genda Koujirou is a better catch than your Kiyama Tatsuya.”

“You’re being gay again, Jirou.” Ichirouta chimes in. The said boy glares over at him, “No, I’m clearly just stating facts. You agree with me, Kaze. I know you do.”

“Please don’t talk to him as if he looks at other guys except Endou.” Ryuuji shakes his head. Jirou is quick to respond with the most confident expression on his face, “Goalkeepers are a different breed, Midori.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He sighs a little too dramatically. It makes Ichirouta put his phone down. “But I was called by a teacher that day so I wasn’t able to go.”

“Is this about that tutoring thing you agreed to?” Ichirouta asks “You could’ve said no.”

 _“But the extra credit is always a good thing.”_ Jirou says mockingly before Ryuuji could open his mouth. “Alright, we get it.”

“I literally hate the both of you.” Ryuuji exasperates before resting his cheek on his hand “Hiroto is a complete jerk, okay? You wouldn’t understand it if you didn’t spend the past three hours in the same room as him.”

“Kira Hiroto?” Jirou is surprised. “Yikes, Midori. What did you get yourself into?”

“You know him?” Ichirouta asks. Jirou snorts, “Who doesn’t? And besides, there’s been several times I had to nurse Fudou’s injuries at the clinic after he decided it was a good idea to fist fight him.”

“Fudou? I thought you hated him.”

“We have our agreements.”

“Shut up, you two.” Ryuuji groans “This isn’t about you. It’s about my struggle and how I plan to _kill_ him.”

“I don’t think colleges accept murderers, Midori.” Ichirouta softly pats the boy’s head who was currently resting his cheek on the cafeteria table.

“No one has to know.” Ryuuji mumbles thoughtfully to himself. His two friends exchange another look. After what seems like an argument, Ichirouta seems to lose at it.

“I’m sure it isn’t _that_ bad.” The boy tries to assure. Jirou sends him a look across the table. “Okay, _maybe,_ he’s beaten up half of my friends but he might be better once you get to know him.”

“He called me _sweetheart.”_ Ryuuji looks up at him with disbelief in his eyes. “Don’t you know how aggravating that is?”

“It’ll be fine, Ryuuji. Trust us.” Jirou sighs out, “Besides, don’t you have to interview the soccer team today since their tournaments are coming up?”

“Oh yeah.” That seemed to lighten up the green haired boy’s mood. “I completely forgot about that.”

“Well you wouldn’t be wanting to miss out on that, huh?” Ichirouta laughs at the way Ryuuji hastily fixes up his things. “Make sure not to make a fool out of yourself in front of starboy.”

“Don’t jinx it, Kazemaru.” And so he runs out of the cafeteria doors.

  
  
  


━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

  
  
  


Ryuuji is starting to think that Ichirouta has some fucked up jinxing powers. He arrives at the soccer field barely at the nick of time and almost finds himself getting hit by a soccer ball if it weren’t for the galaxy-sent being that is Kiyama Tatsuya.

“Kiyama-kun!” Ryuuji feels the boy’s hands steady him from almost falling down. The redhead smiles in familiarity, “Ah, Midorikawa. You haven’t been visiting us as frequently as before. Have you been doing well?”

For a moment, Ryuuji feels his brain short circuit. The way Tatsuya spoke was always so heart racing and swooning. The kind tone he has when he speaks is noticeably genuine in every word he says. The way he smiles and frets over the smallest of things. It wasn’t hard to fall in love with this boy. In fact, it was harder _not_ to fall. Ryuuji could feel his knees weakening, but right now wasn’t the time to be freaking out. He’s talked to Tatsuya many times before, because he really finds every excuse to do so. 

“I’ve been doing fine. Just busy.” Ryuuji responds. Tatsuya lets go of him when he figures that the other is okay already. “Thanks for asking, and for you know, just now.”

Tatsuya smiles. This certainly might be the death of Ryuuji. “No worries, Midorikawa. Make sure not to overwork yourself, alright? Your health should always come first.”

“Yeah.” Ryuuji nods, a little absentmindedly as he stares at the other. How nice it would be if he gets to marry him in his future life. Tatsuya stays smiling at him as the younger struggles to pick out words in his mind. It takes a moment before he starts to talk again, “Well! Uh, _anyway,_ I’m here for another interview.”

“Aren’t you always?” Tatsuya teases a bit as they find a bench beside the field to settle down on. The rest of the players run across the field in front of them. Ryuuji sits down and rests his camera on his side while having a notebook and pencil on his hands. He unknowingly keeps a smile on his lips as he feels the captain sit down next to him, a little too close for comfort.

“Enthusiastic as always, Midorikawa.” The redhead hums, voice fond. “You like what you do, huh?” 

“You can say that.” Ryuuji laughs in response, feeling light. “Taking pictures and writing has always been a fun hobby of mine. I like capturing moments to reminisce for later. It gives me a sense of humanity, you know? It helps me learn to enjoy the things around me on this earth.” 

Ryuuji doesn’t know where he started rambling. He stops suddenly and turns to Tatsuya who was smiling at him, listening intently. “...Or something like that. Sorry, I was talking too much.”

“It’s alright.” He assures before pondering “Do what you love to do because it’ll make you happy, right? You’ve said something about that to me before.”

There’s a stutter in Ryuuji’s heart as he says that. He feels his face turn a little red and blames it on the heat of the sun. Tatsuya remembers the things he says? “Yeah, I’ve said something about that before.” 

“I was sure of it.” He laughs as he stares off at the field where his teammates play. He could see the way Hiroto struggles to keep up with his teammates. He keeps his eyes on the player as he continues to speak. “I keep it in mind a lot. People who like what they do don’t give up on it even if it seems like they barely care. They go on their own paces, and you just have to trust them.”

“You feel the same about soccer?” Ryuuji asks, scribbling words in his notebook. 

“You can say that.” Tatsuya looks at Ryuuji as he says it. The journalist playfully rolls his eyes at the way his previous words were used against him. “I can’t say that this sport is something I want to do in the future but I have it now and so I’ll make the most of it.”

“Such wise words, Kiyama-kun.” Ryuuji chuckles as he hastily scribbles the rest of the words down in surprisingly legible writing. “What’s your plans for the upcoming tournament?” 

“Nothing.” He says “Just play to win but never regret if we ever lose. Take things seriously but never forget to have fun. It’s those simple things that matter.”

Ryuuji keeps writing, but then momentarily stops to look up to Tatsuya who was staring back at the field. He lets his eyes drift there as well where he ultimately meets eyes with Kira Hiroto. It makes him let out a grunt of disappointment. Hiroto mirrors the same negative expression.

“Is anything wrong?” Tatsuya is now looking at him and the way his face contorts into one of annoyance. Ryuuji has half the mind to flip off the self-proclaimed God Striker. (But Tatsuya is here. He reminds himself every second.) 

“No.” He smiles immediately as he looks back at him “Nothing is wrong. My eyes just hurt. That’s all.”

Tatsuya stays slightly suspicious, scanning around the area to see what could be wrong. He focuses back at Ryuuji who’s glaring at someone. It was weird to see murder set inside the usually bubbly boy’s obsidian black eyes _._ He almost seemed like a completely different person. He turns to see that Hiroto was returning the same glare. 

“Do you know Hiroto?” Tatsuya asks Ryuuji who snaps out of his trance. The green haired shakes his head, “No, I don’t. I’d never be friends with him.” 

The redhead seems to frown at that, “Hiroto is nice when you get to know him. It’s a little hard to break through his walls but when you do, he’s genuinely a good person.”

Ryuuji only nods back at that. Maybe that’s the one thing he won’t listen to Tatsuya about. 

  
  
  


━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

  
  
  


Hiroto approaches Tatsuya after practice. The locker room was already empty since the captain would usually be the one locking it up. The redhead was calmly fixing his things when this had happened. “Hey.”

“Hm?” Tatsuya says in acknowledgement as he kept his eyes on the way he was folding his uniform. “What’s up?”

“What was Midorikawa doing here earlier?” Hiroto asks as casually as he could as he leaned on the lockers. He was never really one to ask about other people, let alone care about others except when they wrong him. 

Tatsuya looks at him confused. Why was Hiroto asking about him? “Midorikawa?”

“You heard me once.” Hiroto rolls his eyes “I’m not saying his name again.”

The other couldn’t seem to laugh at how petty the other was being because the confusion in his body was stronger. He shuts his locker softly as he hikes up the strap of his bag on his shoulder, “Well for one thing, he’s always here.”

Hiroto’s interest peaks up. Tatsuya takes this as an indication to say more, “Yeah, he usually visits us during practices to interview us about our progress and whatever journalism he does. You would’ve known if you showed up for most of it.”

The dual haired snorts at that. Tatsuya narrows his eyes, “He’s a really nice boy, Hiroto. I have no idea what you’re planning but don’t you dare do anything to him.”

Hiroto stares at him like he’s grown a second head. Tatsuya stares at him back with a more stern look that could almost pass off as a glare. In the end, he doesn’t push more about the topic. He doesn’t even know if they were talking about the same person at this point.

  
  
  


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Saturday comes by quickly once again. Ryuuji finds himself inside the large room Hiroto has all for himself. It was literally the size of the apartment he lives in with his level-headed roommate (and his stupid fire brained boyfriend who leeches on the food and warmth of the home) and with that thought in mind, he doesn’t know what to feel anymore.

“Kira-san,” Ryuuji isn’t the type to show respect for people who didn’t deserve it, but with the way Hiroto seemed to loathe being called so formally makes him feel victorious. “Please focus on your work. You barely have five questions done.”

“So?” Hiroto looks up from his phone. Ryuuji has no idea how he hasn’t punched this jerk yet. It’s been around three meetings with him, and three hours each meeting. He’s spent at least nine hours alone with this boy in his entire lifetime yet that was enough for him to be close to losing his mind. Their conversations settle one-sidedly when Ryuuji tries to teach what’s in the book in front of them and then turns into backhanded insults and mocking remarks when Ryuuji realizes that Hiroto was barely even listening to him. It’s come to the point where he thinks that Hiroto just teases him for the hell of it — maybe because it was so easy to tick Ryuuji off or maybe because he likes the way he reacts. In spite of this, It was safe to say that the two hated each other, and even if hate was a strong word, it was the best word to describe what was going on between them.

“So, do your work.” Ryuuji smiles his usual innocent-like smile with the obvious underlying edge in it. “Your grades in different subjects are surprisingly enough to pass you through our senior year, but your math grade on the other hand…”

“That subject needs to burn in hell.” He says as he scrolls idly through his phone. “Useless shit.”

“So are you.” Ryuuji grips his pen “Useless, a piece of shit and should burn in hell. You think you’re better than everyone? Well look at you now, _struggling.”_

Hiroto isn’t phased by the statement in the slightest. Instead, he doesn’t pass him a single look before he says, “You talk to Tatsuya with that mouth?”

At the mention of the captain, Ryuuji tenses up, “What does h-he have to do with anything right now?”

Catching the stutter, Hiroto declares to himself that he has won this round. He puts down his phone to focus on the other. He smirks, “I can’t believe you’re able to deceive him with that good boy attitude of yours. You have him absolutely _fooled,_ sweetheart.”

Ryuuji glares at him, cheeks a little red. The flustered look the green haired had on his face at the moment makes Hiroto feel victorious. The journalist looks away, “I’m a good person. You just don’t deserve that side of me.”

“I wonder what Tatsuya would say when he realizes that you’re not as sunshine and rainbows as he says you are.” Hiroto ponders. “Really nice boy my ass.” He eyes Ryuuji up then down which then makes the other self-conscious “Were we even talking about the same person?”

The last statement passes through Ryuuji’s mind like wind. His face burns up even more, “Kiyama-kun talks about me?”

“Who cares?” Hiroto yawns and closes his eyes “He won’t be after I tell him all the mean shit you’ve been doing to me. He’ll leave poor Midorikawa Ryuuji alone because he has finally discovered his true colors. Let’s see who’s struggling now.”

Ryuuji grips his pen a little bit tighter, unable to voice his anger out in proper words. Hiroto opens an eye to look at the way the other was literally bubbling up in anger. His eyebrows were knotted in deep thought as his eyes narrowed into a glare at a random corner of his room. His lips almost pouted at the loss of words to say. It was kind of a different sight how the usually truculent boy who had a comeback eased on the tip of his tongue towards everything Hiroto had to say was now quiet and not so discreetly flustered. 

The dual haired leans away from his chair to try and get into Ryuuji’s line of sight. The other merely turns his head to a different direction. He sighs, “So you’re mad at me now?”

“No,” _He is._ “You’re just being more annoying than you usually are so I‘m keeping quiet because I don’t want to feed your shitty ego and make things worse.”

“You’re bad at making excuses.” Hiroto mutters to himself. He looks at him, wondering where this bad feeling in the pit of his stomach is coming from. Maybe he crossed too far of the line with the other. “Will it _kill_ you to be a little bit nicer to me, Midorikawa?”

Ryuuji looks at him when realizing the lack of a mocking pet name. He shakes his head, “If you answer the rest of the questions then maybe I’ll _consider_ it.”

“I can just take a peek at your work and I’ll be done with it.” He says. Ryuuji is seemingly back to normal as he’s quick to respond, “Don’t you dare.”

The feeling is a little bit lighter now. He hums, “If you treat me to ice cream then maybe I’ll _consider_ it.”

The both of them consider things — ending in forms of a finished homework sheet and two ice cream cones.

  
  
  


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It was getting suspicious, or in a sense, Tatsuya was just thinking too much. Ever since that conversation he had with Hiroto that one day in the locker room, he’s been showing up to practice a lot more. It was honestly shocking to see him there on a day to day basis. The team was starting to get suspicious as well but Shirou assures Tatsuya that it isn’t a big deal and that maybe the latter was finally having his change of heart.

Ryuuji was usually there too. Keeping tabs on the team with his camera on one hand and a notebook on his other. He was constantly fluttering around the team as he usually is and Tatsuya never forgets to entertain him when he’s there. It was always nice talking to the younger boy anyway.

Still, Tatsuya feels like he’s missing something. He wasn’t oblivious, and even though he liked to act like he doesn’t realize more than he should, he sees the way Hiroto and Ryuuji interact when minutes allow them to meet. The quick exchange of words, the raised eyebrow Hiroto has on his amused expression when he speaks to Ryuuji, the heat that rises up Ryuuji’s face as he talks back to him in an irritated yet flustered manner, the cocky smirk on the player’s face as the journalist stomps away after every conversation. He remembers quite well that neither of them mentioned they knew each other, or let alone were friends.

He should feel glad about this, or relieved even. Hiroto was expanding the list of people he considered as friends and that was clearly a good thing. There were more people to level him down, more people to be there for him when Tatsuya can’t. Ryuuji was a nice person, and he knew that. But there was really something nagging in the corner of his mind that he couldn’t really get rid of.

“Hiro.” Tatsuya calls out to the boy as the last remaining members in the locker room walk out of it. Their practice time today was right after school so the sun was almost going down at this point.

Hiroto perks up at the sudden use of the old nickname. Tatsuya never really called him things knowing it wasn’t his style but he remembers that name from when they first met and slowly realized how much the said name died in their years of growing up. He lets his guard a little bit down, “Is something wrong, Tatsuya?”

Noticing the abnormal amount of worry in the other’s voice makes him realize how pathetic he probably sounded at the moment. He shook his head, “No, not really.”

Hiroto almost frowns. Tatsuya was never really one to voice out problems. He was patient and was severely empathetic to the point where his kindness is used against him. Hiroto knows that he tended to just brush off problems after deeming them as not a big deal. He liked prioritizing other people than himself, so it was hard not to get worried when hearing him like this.

Hiroto then realizes how patient Tatsuya has been with him as they grew up together. He owes more than his life to him, which is exactly why he wouldn’t mind going into fire for him. To be there for him when he lets himself be vulnerable like this was a privilege and Hiroto isn’t ever going to let him deal with things alone.

“Are you sure?” He laughs to lighten up the mood “You kinda sound a little bit off there.”

“Oh no, it’s just…” Hiroto raises an eyebrow at that. Tatsuya sighs then continues, “Is there something you aren’t telling me?”

Hiroto seems to genuinely think about it, “Not that I know of. Not really.”

“Oh, well,” Tatsuya shrugs. “It’s nothing then.”

Hiroto stares at him weirdly as the redhead passes by him to walk out the locker room. He follows in suit, determined to find out what’s up with him. He watches as the other locks the door of the room and they take their leave. They always opted to walk home together.

Tatsuya relapses through his thoughts. What was going on with him anyway? Hiroto doesn’t have to tell him everything that went on in his life and Tatsuya didn’t always have to be with him. He didn’t have to tell him how Ryuuji — out of _all_ people — became his friend nor did it have to matter to him if they were even friends or more or whatever in the first place. Besides, Hiroto has other friends besides him like Ryouhei and Terumi. But maybe the reason why things make it better with them is because Tatsuya knows how they became Hiroto’s friends and because Hiroto had told him about it as it happened.

And Ryuuji is just _there,_ suddenly, without a reason. Tatsuya doesn’t know why Hiroto didn’t tell him in an earlier sense. Was he hiding something else? 

“Hey.” Tatsuya feels something poke his forehead. He rubs it with his hand and looks up to see Hiroto. “What’s going on with you?”

“Nothing.” He says. Hiroto snorts, “We’ve been standing outside of your house for, like, five minutes already. We arrived earlier but you’re so deep in thought that you didn’t realize that you stopped walking.”

“Huh? Oh.” His shoulders slump a bit but doesn’t make the effort of walking into his house. Hiroto crosses his arms, “Earth to Kiyama Tatsuya. I swear your head is in space right now.”

Tatsuya laughs at it then looks at Hiroto. Kira Hiroto who he met so long ago, who he found his first friend in, who he doesn’t want to lose. The said boy keeps eye contact with him as he waits for an answer. _Fuck it._ “How do you know Midorikawa?”  
  
“Oh, him?” Hiroto seems unamused. “Don’t tell me you were worried about _him,_ Tatsuya.”

 _No, it’s you._ “I’m just asking.”

“Well, he’s…” Hiroto starts to speak, then gets embarrassed in the process. Tatsuya thinks he’s been punched in the gut. “He’s my tutor, I guess. He’s no one special.”

Oh. _Oh, okay._ Tatsuya feels his mind clear in a quick second. He lets a smile spread on his face, “You guess?”

“It’s fucking stupid actually. He’s annoying.” Hiroto mumbles but then stops after seemingly remembering something as he looks at Tatsuya “But he’s okay sometimes.”

“Okay, okay.” Tatsuya hums. So _that’s_ what everything is about. Maybe he should thank Ryuuji the next time he sees him. “Don’t have to get all defensive.”

“Am not.” Hiroto huffs “Whatever. Anyway, I’m going home now. See you tomorrow.”

“See you.” He waves as the other walks away. Tatsuya forgets why he was feeling off in the first place.

  
  
  


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Ryuuji passes through the bookshelves in the library mindlessly. Days seem like they’re going too fast for his initial likings. He’s been tutoring Hiroto for almost two months now and what used to be their exchange of mocking remarks have now dropped into more of friendly teasing and banter. He wasn’t quite sure if ‘friendly’ was even correct for their situation but whatever it was, it was considerably a great improvement between them even if Hiroto could get _too_ annoying with what shit he says. (Which was filled with taking advantage of Ryuuji’s little crush on a certain redhead captain just to get what he wanted.)

Aside from that came his other responsibilities, Terumi had bombarded him with council work since he’s the secretary of it and the angel tended to procrastinate his workload in favor of different things that most likely included a certain silver haired boy from the soccer team, or so Ryuuji thinks. (It’s getting suspicious, really.) There was also his duties in the journalism club which is getting heavier since the soccer tournament is starting in nearly two more months from now. He barely remembers the last time he was able to eat proper lunch with Ichirouta and Jirou. 

Thinking of that makes his shoulders slump. His friends were a pain in the ass, _sure,_ but he misses them. He sighs while picking out a book on the shelf, “Maybe I can ditch the tutoring session this Saturday to go hang out with them. Hiroto wouldn’t mind it. I’m sure…”

“Midorikawa.” A voice chirps up beside him making Ryuuji almost scream if it weren’t for the hand clamping on his mouth. A quick thought made him think that he was getting kidnapped today but then his eyes met teal ones. The _attacker_ laughs softly, “We’re in the library. I don’t think shouting is a good option.”

“Kiyama-kun?” He whispers out once Tatsuya removes his hand from his lips. The other was really close with the way he had him slightly pushed against the bookshelf. Ryuuji could scream again if he wanted to. “What are you…”

“Sorry,” He smiles sheepishly as he pushes away from Ryuuji. They stand right in front of each other, cramped in the narrow pathway of the shelves with their backs against the books. “Did I scare you?”

“Maybe a little shock, that’s all.” Ryuuji breathes out, not sure where to look anymore. Tatsuya lets out a small chuckle at this as he watches the usually enthusiastic and talkative journalist get flustered. “Is there something you need from me?”

“I was just walking around and saw you.” He explains “Hm, come to think of it, are you free right now? Let’s eat lunch together.”

Ryuuji feels his brain die at that moment, for several reasons actually. “Huh?”

“Let’s eat lunch together.” He repeats “We can eat over at the soccer field alone. It’s quieter there. No one’s around to bother us.”

 _Together. Alone. Us._ Ryuuji only digests those words only to the point where he loses all words to say. Tatsuya’s friendly expression turns into one of worry after Ryuuji fails to say something in the next three minutes. “Midorikawa, if you’re busy then it’s alright with me.”

“What?! _No,_ no, I’m free right now. Actually, I’m more than willing to go out with you.” Ryuuji blurts out. It takes him a moment to think about what he just said. “To go out and eat lunch with you that is. Nothing else… unless?”

Tatsuya sighs softly then reaches over to pat the other’s shoulder, “Then come on now. I’m getting kind of hungry.”

Ryuuji follows after him, almost stumbling as he walks. The two get lunch in the cafeteria together, earning some looks from students as they pass by. Maybe it was a weird sight to the two of them hanging out. Either way, Ryuuji tries not to acknowledge the way Ichirouta and Jirou eye him suspiciously from their usual table in the venue. He has a lot of explaining to do to them.

They make it to the soccer field and it’s just as described — it’s quiet and empty and they’re _alone_ together. Tatsuya finishes eating before Ryuuji and starts up a conversation, “How’s your workload, Mr. Top one student?”

Ryuuji playfully rolls his eyes at the nickname. Even if he had the tendency to lose his mind around the captain, it was still comforting to talk to him. Tatsuya makes things so easy for Ryuuji to just breathe. Perhaps that’s why he finds himself in an endless pit of admiration and like. “Terrible. I have so many things to do everyday.”

“Taking care of yourself?” Tatsuya asks.  
  
“I try my best to remember, you worrywart.” Ryuuji snorts. “But you know, I don’t really mind the amount of things I do. I sorta put that on myself so I have to be responsible in making sure I see through all of it until the end.”

The other merely hums in response, “You’re pretty admirable with your determination, Midorikawa.”

“I guess so…” He burns up, picking on his almost finished food with his chopsticks. It’s been a while since the last time he was able to eat slowly without having to scarf down his food because of a responsibility he had to take care of soon. “I try.”

“Right.” He nods “Anyway, what I really wanted to do was thank you.”

“Thank me?” Ryuuji sounds surprised “I haven’t done much.”

“Hm, you’re already a busy person, Midorikawa.” Tatsuya begins to explain “I heard from Hiroto the other day that you’re the one responsible for tutoring him. His academics have gotten a lot better thanks to you.”

“Oh,” Ryuuji responds, not really sure what to say at this point. He wasn’t really expecting this conversation at all. “It’s not a problem really. He’s _troublesome_ to say the least but I’m glad to help, always.”  
  
“Yeah, I’m aware that Hiroto could be a handful and that’s why I thank you for being able to tolerate him.” Tatsuya seemed elated as he continued to talk about the dual haired male. “I hope he isn’t causing you too much trouble though.”

Ryuuji rethinks through the past days he’s been hanging out with Hiroto. He decides not to say much, “He isn’t. Well, he _was_ at first, but I think we’re better now.”

“That’s good.” Tatsuya lets out a relieved breath. “I told you before that Hiroto is hard to get past. I’ve known him since middle school and we’ve been really close friends ever since. He isn’t the type to make friends easily, but he does seem comfortable with you. I’m happy with that.”

“Comfortable with being a daily nuisance.” Ryuuji mutters to himself, but looks at the way Tatsuya smiled. He really seemed content at the moment, blissfully happy too. Ryuuji breathes in. If he thought about it, he’s indirectly making him happy with what he’s doing. And making Tatsuya happy makes him happy as well.

He decides then that he won’t ditch the Saturday tutoring.

  
  
  


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Hiroto looks at the boy seated in front of him. Something was off today, and that was annoying him. He wasn’t sure which of it was really annoying him. In fact, literally everything that was happening in the moment was really boiling up Hiroto’s anger. 

Ryuuji barely talked today. He had done a briefing of the lesson regarding the homework and called it a day. Usually, he’d go too in depth with the topic to the point where Hiroto would feel like he’s sitting in a classroom with a real teacher in front of him but today all he was doing was spacing out, smiling to himself like some crazy person and only acknowledging Hiroto’s presence if he were to ask something about the homework in front of them. He was obnoxiously bubbly and highly absentminded. He hates to say he misses the rapid quips Ryuuji would give him in the smallest things Hiroto had to say about him.

He had already insulted him more than twenty times in the span of the two hours the two have been sitting there studying. Ryuuji gave no reaction to mostly all of them nor seemed to care at all with the random _aggravating_ new nicknames Hiroto was throwing at him. It was weird, unsettling and quite frankly, annoying. Hiroto didn’t like the lack of attention he’s receiving right now.

So with the thought that this is how it’s just going to be for the next hour left, he places down his pen and picks up his phone. It takes too long of a moment for Ryuuji to notice this. He doesn’t look irritated by the action and instead concerned, “You’re done?”

“No,” He passes a quick look towards the other then back on his phone screen “I just don’t want to do it.”

What comes next wasn’t really what Hiroto expected, or in fact, _wanted._ He watches as Ryuuji’s eyebrows furrow as he picks up the abandoned homework sheet. He speaks, voice unnervingly cautious and _soft,_ “Do you need help? What part don’t you understand?”

Hiroto stares at him for a moment. Ryuuji’s eyes go from reading the paper to meet his own. There was something in his body that got struck. Hiroto looks away. “No, I don’t. I’ll just do it later when I feel up to it.”

 _If you’re gonna make an excuse, it better be a good one, Kira-san._ He expects to hear but instead Ryuuji merely hums in response, “Alright. You know that if you really do need help, you can just ask me. That’s what I’m here for so don’t feel shy or whatever.”

“Don’t do that.” Hiroto almost growls. Ryuuji gives him a confused look. The dual haired doesn’t hold back on the sound of his irritation, “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“What’s…” Ryuuji repeats to himself then lets out an indignant huff “There’s nothing _wrong_ with me, Kira.”

“Yeah there is.” Hiroto argues. Ryuuji sends him a look as if taunting to continue this poor display of attitude. He takes the challenge, “You’re being really fucking weird. I’ve literally called you a piece of shit ten times today and you didn’t bite back.”

“Maybe it’s a change of heart. You should try it sometime.” The green haired states “And what if I’m just in a good mood? Shouldn’t you be glad that I’ve decided to be nicer to you today?”

“No, yeah, ugh… well,” Hiroto rethinks his thoughts, wondering what else he could argue about. He gives up. “Nevermind, give me the fucking paper.”

Ryuuji jumps up at the way Hiroto aggressively snatches the paper back into his own hands. The latter picks up his pen and starts angrily writing down answers uncaring if they were right or if he was even answering them right. Entertained by this new side of the boy, Ryuuji takes matters into his own hands. Revenge might be a good playing card for today.

He scoots his chair closer to the other and pokes his side to which Hiroto grumbles at. When the boy just continues to write down things that Ryuuji is sure are wrong, he pokes him again. “Kira-san. _Kira-san.”_

“Stop bothering me. I’m doing my work.” He says in a harsh tone. 

Ryuuji giggles, highly amused. “Oh so _now_ you’re willing to do your work? What happened to _school doesn’t matter anyway_ or _I don’t give a shit about this subject,_ huh? Is this a change of heart? Such a hard worker you are, Kira-san!”

 _“Shut up.”_ Hiroto turns in a different direction, away from Ryuuji’s ongoing jabs and to hide whatever burning feeling was rising up his neck and face. He can hear the other laughing behind him making his stomach flip. This was weird, unsettling and really fucking annoying. He has no idea what’s happening to him.

“I can’t believe you’re the type to get mad over the smallest of things” Ryuuji snorts “Was I not paying enough attention to you today?”

“I told you to shut up.” He hisses. Ryuuji laughs even more at that before calming down, “Okay, okay. I’m sorry. I’ll stop now.”

“I don’t believe you.” He mutters as the other tries to turn him back around so that they could face each other. 

“Stop being petty, Kira. I’m pretty sure half of the shit you’re writing down isn’t correct.” He complains. The taller finally turns around. The journalist smiles widely, “Better.”

Hiroto rolls his eyes, “Who cares if this is right or wrong. At least I answer this and get this done.”

“Everyone cares. In fact, Kiyama-kun cares about it too.” He snatches the paper from Hiroto’s hands and begins to look through it. At the mention of Tatsuya’s name, Hiroto then gets a clearer view as to what was happening. 

“Ugh, him again?” Hiroto leans back on his chair. “You just have the _biggest_ crush on him, don’t you? All you do is talk about him. Kiyama-kun this, Kiyama-kun that. What’s so good about him anyway?”

“First of all, he’s got good grades and is really nice.” Ryuuji singsongs before glaring at the other “Unlike you. I can’t believe the two of you are like the best of friends.”

“He told you that?” Hiroto frowns. Ryuuji nods, “Yeah, he thanked me the other day for being the one helping you out with your academics, and it made him happy so I thought that why not be nicer to you as well.”

Hiroto looks at the way Ryuuji is smiling again — just like he was for the whole entire day. _So it was Tatsuya who made him like this._ Bright, bubbly, hopeful and kind. A _sweetheart,_ really. He wonders if he’ll ever get that from him, or if he could ever be the one who can bring this part of Midorikawa Ryuuji out. All he could get is snarky remarks, glares and scolds. 

“Here.” He gets handed back his homework. Ryuuji opens his mouth to say something more but then second guesses. Hiroto catches that and doesn’t hesitate to do something about it, “If you want to say something, then say it.”

Ryuuji pouts before giving in, “You’re close with Kiyama-kun, right?”

Hiroto raises an eyebrow, “Yeah, I am.”

The other laughs nervously, eyes looking around before settling on his hands where he played with his fingers softly. Only Tatsuya could make him like this — soft, fragile, _in love._ “Do you think you can help me get closer to him?”

A pin gets stuck in the pit of Hiroto’s throat. It’s hard to swallow. “Sure.”

  
  
  


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Hiroto has no idea what to do now, but of course, he tries to do something. Google doesn't seem to help him solve the problem of _how to help someone who you think you’re kind of fond of but aren’t sure yet because they’re also really annoying get together with your best friend who you treasure most in the world?_ It wasn’t some easy task at all.

He did ask around, and being someone like Hiroto, it wasn’t that many people. Ryouhei shut him down the moment he approached him, asking if he looked like anyone who could even hold human feelings, let alone love. Hiroto tried to argue because he was pretty sure the boy had a habit of sending heart eyes to that blue haired student named Mizukamiya or something, not that he actually cared. 

His next hope came in the form of Afuro Terumi who he was well aware of as a campus hearthrob. Although, despite this title, he knows the other was super unlucky with getting into relationships so he doubted approaching him at first, but since he was so desperate at this point, he had no other choice. In the end, the angel actually gave him solid advice and it was suspiciously rational to the point where Hiroto is starting to think that the boy had some kind of secret relationship going on. He could ask of that later when he finally gets his own shit back together.

But Hiroto knew better than to listen to someone like Afuro Terumi. Who cares if that boy was second under Ryuuji in the academic ranking? Being a genius doesn’t necessarily immediately coin you as a genius in every other realm. So he does the next best (or stupid) thing and approaches Tatsuya straight up about this. Well, it _is_ what Ryuuji would’ve wanted anyway and Hiroto is starting to think that he’d do enough for him at this point.

It was one day when Hiroto and Tatsuya were casually hanging out in the former’s room. Tatsuya always came by on a random notice and today wasn’t any different. Hiroto always liked the company and the food Tatsuya’s _mother_ insisted on bringing along with him. The redhead was currently snacking on a cookie when Hiroto speaks up, “What’s your ideal type, Tatsuya?”

“My what now?” Tatsuya almost drops his cookie. He stares at his best friend bewildered, “Why are you… _Why?”_

“I’m curious.” Hiroto hums as he laid sprawled on his unnecessary large bed that could fit more than three people. “And bored.”

“My ideal type…” Tatsuya repeats to himself, looks at Hiroto who was staring up at the ceiling, feels his face burn then looks away all in that same order. “Well, I like people who are true to themselves. People who know what they want and love what they do. People who aren’t scared to voice out their opinions and aren’t afraid to be themselves — even if who they are can kinda be a little ugly.”

Hiroto listens intently but shows pure disinterest in his face. Tatsuya talks like he’s describing Ryuuji, or maybe Hiroto is just thinking about the journalist who’s passionate and determined in the things he does, who says what he wants, who expresses who he is and who doesn’t mind being who he is. Hiroto throws an arm over his eyes. _Fuck._

Tatsuya continues to speak, “Someone who’s rough around the edges and hard to get past but is basically the most caring, trustable and adoring person you’ll ever meet when you finally get to know them.”

Hiroto hums in response. Tatsuya decides to stop talking, “or something like that. Why are you so interested anyway?”

“Nothing really.” Hiroto says “What about dates? Where’d you like to go or take someone to?”

Tatsuya feels vulnerable at the moment. _Sure,_ he and Hiroto have known each other for years already and learned things about each other without even asking to the point where they could read each other’s body language and maybe even _mind_ without the other even saying anything. But there was something about the way Hiroto was suddenly curious about him and what he likes that makes his heart pound through his ears.

Hiroto was interested — in _that_ kind of way. If that meant something then Tatsuya shouldn’t try getting his hopes up. Wait, why _should_ he even be getting his hopes up in the first place? He and Hiroto are friends, _good_ friends. Even if this is like the first time they’ve talked about things like this then it doesn’t mean it means _that._ Tatsuya regresses through his thoughts, why is he even thinking about Hiroto that way. It’s not like he _likes_ him, right?

“Whatever makes them comfortable, you know?” Tatsuya goes for the safest answer. “Knowing whoever it is, I wouldn’t want to pressure them into doing things or going places they wouldn’t want to go. Besides, I kinda like just staying home and domestically spending the day together, like how we were built for each other.”

“That’s really cheesy of you.” Hiroto laughs as he takes his arm away from his eyes to look at Tatsuya who was flustered to say the least. 

“You don’t like it?”

“No, it’s fine.” He answers. Maybe Ryuuji would like it. The journalist sure was a brat sometimes but he knows the other wasn’t picky with anything — and let alone things with Tatsuya, well, Ryuuji would do _anything_ for him. “It’s kinda nice. It’s really _you,_ if that makes sense.”

“What would _you_ want, Hiro?” It’s Tatsuya’s turn to ask. It takes Hiroto by surprise. What would _he_ want? He never really thought about these things until now — until Midorikawa Ryuuji. He sighs at the thought of him. He’s occupying his mind too much that it’s getting out of hand, and he doesn’t want to admit why it’s happening. A small part of him knows why but he isn’t sure if he’s ready to face it.

“Not sure.” He responds before adding “Probably just do things that would earn a smile from them. I think that’s what matters the most.”

“How sweet, Hiroto. I didn’t think you had it in you.” Tatsuya teases with a smile gracing his features. Hiroto heats up at the embarrassment, “Shut up.”

The conversation of that topic dies down there. Hiroto doesn’t know if it’ll ever be brought up again or if he’d want to bring it up again. He supposes that whatever information he’s gotten from Tatsuya today should be enough to suffice for Ryuuji for hopefully forever. 

The sun goes down and Tatsuya is left to go home. Hiroto walks him back because he had the slightest bit of raw human emotions like that, and also, he doesn’t like the thought of Tatsuya walking home alone at night, especially with his lack in a sense of direction. He knows the other is totally capable of kicking a person to mars but Hiroto worries like that.

The moment Tatsuya is left to his own devices in the walls of his own bedroom is the same moment his mind finally breaks down. In his mind came Kira Hiroto, and the possibility of probably _liking_ Kira Hiroto in _that_ kind of way. The thought lingers a little bit longer inside Tatsuya’s mind. He unknowingly smiles, then realizes how stupid he looks smiling about it so he hides his face in his pillow as if anyone could see him at the moment. Breathing in, then out. The pounding of his heart was so much louder through his ears now that he’s alone.

He decides to sleep everything off, wondering if it will all come back tomorrow.

  
  
  


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Hiroto relays the conversation to an excited Midorikawa Ryuuji whose eyes light up the whole time. He lets the other ramble about things regarding the captain as they studied together in the walls of his room. Ryuuji was passionate about many things — academics, journalism and now Hiroto realizes how passionate he is when it comes to people he loves and cares about. It was endearing to say the least.

And to say the most, Hiroto was well on his way to finally meeting his demise. 

  
  
  


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“You look well.” Jirou intones as Ryuuji joins them for lunch for the first time in a long time. Ichirouta doesn’t acknowledge his presence with his eyes solely on his phone. “How’s spending your days with starboy and that idiot god?”

“Fantastic. It’s like you guys never existed.” Ryuuji smiles, unnervingly genuine as Ichirouta finally looks at him. The journalist winces, “You look like shit.”

“Thanks.” It was Ichirouta’s turn to smile, unnervingly genuine. “Endou has a girlfriend. Some lovely lady named Natsumi Raimon. I really can’t say anything bad about her. She’s super pretty, and amazing, and I can’t believe that dumb idiot was able to score a girl like her.”

“Wait, really?” Ryuuji’s eyes widen. “Since when?”

“Since a long time ago in a fucking galaxy far, far away.” Ichirouta passes his phone towards the boy. He then slumps down and rests his face on the cafeteria table. Jirou doesn’t look the slightest bit phased and Ryuuji now wonders how many days Ichirouta has been like this.

“Don’t worry about him.” Jirou says as Ryuuji looks through Ichirouta’s phone. Wow, she really was pretty. “It’s been two months already. Surely, he’ll get over this soon.”

Still a little bit concerned, Ryuuji places Ichirouta’s phone down beside where the boy had rested his head on. He frowns, “Has it really been that long?”

“Since you’ve been gone?” Jirou asks then continues to speak after seeing the journalist nod, “Yeah, maybe longer but it’s fine. You’re happy anyway. Why don’t you tell us what’s happening with you?”

“Nothing much.” He answers, earning glares from both boys. “Well, okay, Kira is nicer and I like to think me and Kiyama-kun have gotten a little farther past the acquaintance stage.”

“That’s boring.” Ichirouta sits up, suddenly okay already. “I thought there’ll be more to that. No drama? Anything complicated? No nothing?”

“There’s literally nothing much going on.” Ryuuji actually thinks about it “Well, Kira is helping me get closer to Kiyama-kun because they happen to be the bestest of friends.”

Jirou and Ichirouta pass looks to each other. The eyepatched boy speaks up, “Kira Hiroto is _helping_ you with something?”

“Yeah, grand shocker, right?” Ryuuji laughs it off. “I told you. He’s nicer now.”

The two of them share one more look before passing it off. The conversation then dies down into the past minute when Ryuuji asks them for a life update. Apparently, Jirou is caught up in a love triangle between the likes of Genda Koujirou and Fudou Akio. Ichirouta makes a comment of how dumb that is. Ryuuji then proudly states how that could never be him.

Jinxing then becomes a common theme to Ryuuji.

  
  
  


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A month passes and days become busier. Everything gets selectively better for the most part. Hiroto’s grades improve drastically, making teachers start to commend him for the hard work. Ryuuji’s workload doesn't fade but he’s been excelling in everything he’s been doing lately, earning him recommendations from good colleges. Tatsuya stays diligent in preparing for the upcoming games next month in hopes to snag the winning trophy.

Tutorial sessions turn more into chatter. Hiroto keeps talking to Tatsuya about his interests to which he’d relay to Ryuuji over the weekend. Ryuuji flutters around Tatsuya more during practices as they talk about future plans for next month or even the next years to come. Hiroto learns to be more with the team with the help of Tatsuya himself.

It almost feels perfect — but almost wouldn’t necessarily mean enough.

  
  
  


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“Here,” Hiroto tosses the paper over to Ryuuji. The latter struggles to catch it and when he does, the dual haired merely ignores him and stretches his body. Sitting down for an hour to do crappy math homework always strained his body somehow. “I’m done.”

Ryuuji looks through the paper with criticizing eyes. It almost makes Hiroto nervous. When the journalist was serious, he was _really_ serious and it was admittedly scary to see him like that. He notes to himself that the possibility of ever making Ryuuji seriously angry should never be a choice for him. He wouldn’t want to risk losing his life.

Although, Hiroto stares at the way the other’s eyebrows are furrowed too deeply. He wonders what it would feel like to ease them with his touch — or what it would feel like to ease Ryuuji as a whole. Have his body melt his arms or sleep against his chest. To hear the soft pattern of his breathing or have him pressed against his body. The journalist always tends to drown himself in work and never has time to get proper rest for himself even if he says he’s okay.

He realizes that he’s been staring too long, and thinking about too many things about him that it’s starting to get out of hand. Hiroto can’t lose himself or else he’ll lack a great deal of self-control around the boy. Ryuuji suddenly hums in contentment, “You’ve got most of them correct, Kira. I’m proud.”

“Did I?” He seems shocked too. The other laughs at the sheer genuineness in his features, “Yes, you did. We can go back and fix some later. We still have a lot of time left so how about a break?”

“That’s fine with me.” Hiroto drops back on his bed. Ever since they’ve gotten more comfortable with each other, they’ve preferred to study on his gigantic bed instead of staying on the cramped chairs which make their back hurt. Ryuuji laughs at the way Hiroto snuggles into the blankets, “Is Kira-san tired?”

“Be quiet.” He closes his eyes. He wasn’t _that_ tired but the atmosphere they had right now was so comfortable that he might be as so. He feels the bed bounce and when he opens his eyes, Ryuuji is right beside him staring up at his ceiling.

“Your bed is comfy.” He sighs in contentment, closing his eyes. The tenseness in his eyebrows fade. “I wish my bed was this soft. I used to live in an orphanage until last year when me and a friend of mine there reached a legal age to finally move out. We’ve lived in the same apartment ever since. Our beds were always so low-quality because we barely had any money to afford things, but you get used to those kinds of things when you live with it for your whole life.”

Hiroto watches him as he talks. “I work so hard to feel like I’m worth it, because I must’ve been so worthless to the point where you’d abandon me in an orphanage. I’ve felt so unwanted my whole life. No support, no acknowledgements, no nothing. So I just thought that maybe if I strived for the best then people would see that I’m actually worth something. Well, it’s not some people's validation thing, but I want to feel good about myself for once. Be someone I’m proud of.”

It was weird. The way Ryuuji smiled as he said this — kind of sad or maybe reminiscent. He opens his eyes and turns to face Hiroto, “or whatever?” He laughs and it rings through his mind like wind chimes being hit by an early morning breeze. “I talk too much, don’t I? I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore.”

Hiroto keeps a stare on him as he looks back with large cautious eyes. Ryuuji raises an eyebrow, _teasing._ Hiroto has no idea how much he can keep this up. “What? Do I have something on my face? Staring is really impolite, Kira-san.”

Ryuuji looks soft, fragile and the last of Hiroto’s self-control snaps. The other couldn’t say anything before the taller boy closed the gap between them with his lips. Ryuuji holds in a gasp. Hiroto pushes his lips harder but cautiously on the other’s. It’s sweet, like how he expected it to be. Intoxicating and addicting — but he knew better than to push boundaries with Midorikawa Ryuuji so he pulls away and sits up, facing away from the embarrassment and the worst of what’s to come.

 _Although,_ he thinks to himself. He doesn’t regret anything.

He doesn’t look back. He doesn’t really want to face Ryuuji and see what could be anger, betrayal and hurt. He doesn’t want that to be the last image of him if he was ever to leave at the moment. He knows he’s fucked up somewhere along the lines, but if he could keep something and be a little selfish, then at least he keeps the image of Ryuuji smiling at him before he goes away for good.

The bed lightens. Ryuuji has sat up. He can feel his movements and his feet hit the floor. Is he leaving now? It’s so soon. “Let’s finish our work, Kira.”

“It’s Hiroto.” They’re not looking at each other. He gulps down the feeling crawling up his throat, “Hiroto is fine.”

 _“Right.”_ Ryuuji doesn’t sound the slightest bit nervous, or phased. It was like nothing ever happened and maybe that’s worse than him leaving. “Let’s get back to work, Hiroto.”

“...’m sorry.” He mutters out. He feels Ryuuji’s gaze on him, not sure if it’s a glare or what. He doesn’t want to look back. He clears his throat, “I’m sorry.”

A silence, before Ryuuji hums. “It’s fine. It’s just if that ever meant something then I hope you realize what you’re getting into because you know.”

“I know.” _How could I forget anyway?_ Hiroto knows everything he’s gotten himself into. He knows there’s still Tatsuya, that he _isn’t_ Tatsuya nor is he anyone Ryuuji would like to spend his time on. “I’m just really sorry, okay?”

“Hiroto—” “Listen, it’s just that…” He feels the stress burn through his forehead. He sighs deeply. “When you grow up in a household like mine everyone just places you on a pedestal. You have to act this way and do things with grace or _whatever._ People are fake just to get on your good side because they know what they could get from you. I don’t want to be like that, because that isn’t me. So, I guess that’s why I’m like _this,_ because I’m tired of only being so pristine and used and _fake.”_

“And you’re just,” Hiroto turns red, hoping he’s looking away enough for Ryuuji not to him. “You’re fucking annoying and uptight. You do things with passion and grace and this kind of stupid enamouring enthusiasm about things. You talk a lot but then you’re also easily shy and flustered. You fight back without hesitation and it hurts but you’re sweet about a lot of things which makes up for most things. You’re honest, and an asshole too. You just do you. I like that.” 

“I like you.” Hiroto feels vulnerable, like the ground is about to eat him up and officially send him to hell if Ryuuji doesn’t do it first.

“Oh.” is all he gets from the other. He finally turns to him and sees that he isn’t all that mad. Maybe everything really is fine. Ryuuji’s face is heated and purely red. His hands are fidgety and playing with a pencil. They meet eyes but Ryuuji immediately looks away. He puts the pencil down on the table, “I’m not mad about it. When I told you it was fine, it really was. It’s just that I treasure you a lot as someone in my life and that—”

“If you’re going to reject me then get on with it.” Hiroto sighs “I already figured it’ll end like this anyway. No matter how much I really want you.”

“Can you shut up for a second?” Ryuuji huffs. Hiroto does so. “Well, I just want you to know what you’re getting into, okay? I _like_ Kiyama, _a lot,_ and _you_ know that. I don’t want you getting your hopes up.”

“But I want to try.” Hiroto stands up to walk to him. Surprisingly, Ryuuji doesn’t step back and just looks at him as he approaches. “I know it’ll be hard to compete with him, but I mean everything I say. I’m not bullshitting things for once, Ryuuji. I really want to try for you, even if I get hurt.”

“Okay.” He looks at him, then looks away. He repeats more to himself, _“Okay.”_

“Will you let me?” He reaches out to hold the other’s shaking hands. They ease at his touch. He smiles.

“We can take things slow.” Ryuuji whispers because he doesn’t want to break the settling feeling on them if he spoke any louder. “But okay. It’s okay with me.”

In response, he carefully lets his arms go around Ryuuji’s waist, cautious in case the other didn’t want this. When he doesn’t move at all, he pulls him into a hug. Ryuuji melts in his arms. He feels him breathing softly against his chest. Hiroto thinks this might be it.

“Thank you.”

  
  
  


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Nothing changes after that, except for the fact that Hiroto now has something to work hard for. Of course, he has no idea what to do. He hasn’t done this before so he wasn’t at all experienced with this. But he did promise to himself that he’d try. For Ryuuji. For the both of them.

In line with trying harder, he studies more even without Ryuuji’s help. He becomes more active in opinions and more understanding with receiving criticism from his teammates as they play. He lightens up a bit, drops some of his asshole-like traits that usually kept everyone on edge around him. He becomes friendlier, but he was still Kira Hiroto so friendlier comes in the form of at least softening his passes into ones that can’t potentially break his teammate’s feet. He still makes his occasional snappy remarks and his snobby attitude that can stir up fights but hey, he’s trying.

Everyone notices this change, but the one who decides to ask about it was none other than Kiyama Tatsuya. The redhead approaches Hiroto one day after a day of lengthy practice. Ryuuji hasn’t visited in a while. To be more specific, he hasn’t been visiting regularly like he usually does. It was more surprising to see him there than not to at this point. Hiroto tries not to think much about it.

“Hey Hiro.” Tatsuya slides over to where the other was sitting. The captain has been really bubbly lately. Hiroto likes to see this change and wonders why. “The games are next week, are you ready for it?”

“Think so.” He yawns. The locker room was empty as usual. The two have always found themselves in this situation. Alone together to clean things up and lock the doors then walk home together before the sky gets dark.

Tatsuya laughs, “You’ve been rather friendly lately with the team. It’s nice to see it, you know? Makes me feel like I’m some kind of proud mom when I see the team finally unite well.”

Hiroto laughs at the way the other seemed too proud about something so little. Tatsuya is happy to get that laugh out of him. The other did look like he’s got a lot in mind lately, and he’s also been aware of how much work Hiroto has been putting into fixing his grades and moral conduct. It makes him delighted to see this new side of his friend blossoming — one where he’s more comfortable with opening up to people, one where he’s found things that finally give him a dream and ambition in life and one where he’s happy. Happier.

Ever since that night, Tatsuya has seen things in a newer light. He’s been feeling things in different ways. He hasn’t thought about it much before or neither the concept of falling in love. He always thought he was too young for it and if the world deemed him ready for it then he’d gladly take it. But for most of his life, he focused more on himself and his future. There were instances where girls would walk up to him and confess — maybe if he was lucky then it’ll be a boy — but no amount of chocolates or sweet talking could’ve ever caught Tatsuya’s attention like Hiroto did. 

It shocked him at first. Well, of course it would. It wasn’t everyday Tatsuya would realize his ever-growing love that he’s garnered for his childhood best friend over the years of knowing him. It was clearer — the reasons why he’d fret over the dual haired male, why he’d stay up thinking if he was okay, why making him feel okay and laugh was one of the greatest things Tatsuya accomplishes in life, why he’d think of him in general and why’d he would wait, trust, and hope for him. 

It all made sense now. The lingering gazes he’d let himself set on his best friend, the pounding of his heart in his ears, the small things the other would do but would cause literal fireworks in his own body. He knows every thought he thinks about him was cheesy but perhaps the most cheesy things are the most true.

Kira Hiroto who he met so long ago, who he found his first friend in, who he doesn’t want to lose. The boy who saved him from pits of self-hatred and fear of loneliness. The boy who he’s deeply in love with. Everything was so easy with him. Maybe that’s why it was so easy to just be in love with him. 

He wasn’t the greatest person, but that never mattered to Tatsuya. Hiroto being who he was is who he fell in love with — not someone better, not someone worse. It was just him. It was always him. 

“It makes me happy.” Tatsuya smiles at Hiroto. “To see you like this. I’m really happy things are getting better for you. You’re smiling a lot more. It’s nice.”

“Yeah,” Hiroto smiles back at that. Tatsuya thinks he’s won the world. “I guess there are some things that have been making my life better. And make me want to try harder too. To _be_ better.”

“You’re already pretty okay to me, Hiro.” Tatsuya nudges him playfully. “But do what you love to do because it’ll make you happy. Whatever you think is right for you then I’ll be supportive. What kind of person would I be to you if I didn’t?”

Hiroto breathes out, suddenly relieved about things. Tatsuya always knew what to say when things get hard for him — it’s probably another thing of the many things he’s grateful for with the other. He nudges him back softly, “Thanks, Tatsuya. It really means a lot.”

Tatsuya says nothing and stands up. He holds a hand out for the other, “Let’s go home.”

Hiroto takes his hand and lets the other just pull him up, making their bodies knock on each other before they part laughing. Everything was always so easy when it came to the two of them. Effortless and simple. Tatsuya spins the keys with his finger, “Hurry up or I’m locking you in here.”

The two make it outside. The sun was already down and the night sky was painted in stars. Hiroto never really realized how late it’s gotten. Tatsuya finishes locking up the club room and hurries to make it to his friend’s side, “It’s late. We should hurry.”

“We should.” Hiroto agrees. They begin to make their way home while sufficing with small talk. Tatsuya is the one talking more between the two of them — like how Shirou’s been a little suspicious lately, or about that girl who had confessed to him earlier today but then ultimately rejected. Hiroto knew the other tended to reject anyone no matter how pretty, high statused or kind they are. He always wondered why.

Hiroto’s mind transfers back to his biggest situation. He turns to Tatsuya. He should know something, considering that he has not only the whole school but Midorikawa Ryuuji under his fingertips. “Tatsuya.”

“And so I said—Huh? What?” He stops mid-sentence to turn to Hiroto. The taller has no idea how he was able to hear his soft call over the rambling the redhead was doing. They continue to walk. Hiroto debates whether he should continue speaking or not, but Tatsuya looks at him like everything is going to be okay. And it will. (Or so he’s hoping.) “How do you make someone like you?”

Tatsuya is taken by surprise. “Hm?”

“Well like,” Hiroto looks up to the sky “You should know, right? You’re smart, friendly, the soccer captain and you always know what to say to make people feel better. You know what to say to make _me_ feel better about myself even though we both know I fucking suck. You’ve tolderated my ass for years which is very amazing to be honest. You take time to listen and you’re selfless. Everyone likes you. How do you do it?”

Tatsuya has stopped walking at this point. His mind is grateful that it was really dark because his face feels like it’s on fire. Hiroto turns around to look at him, “Tatsuya?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugs, laughing everything off like always. Hiroto walks to him. They stand face to face. “I guess I’m just built like that. Why are you asking?”

Hiroto looks around. It was dark, severely. He can barely see and the broken streetlight above them wasn’t really helping. Tatsuya waits — because he’s just so patient like that. He breathes in, “I like someone, and I really want them to like me back. But you know, I don’t know how to do these things because it’s never happened to me before. I’m kinda just… lost.”

A heartbeat, “You like someone?”

“Yeah,” Hiroto shifts on his spot embarrassed “Crazy, right? Never thought I’d be capable of this but here I am.”

Tatsuya stares at the boy in front of him dripped in the terrible lighting of the streetlight and the aura of the moon. He smiles his best smile. It’s like nothing is wrong. Hiroto doesn’t have to notice if there is. He doesn’t have to know anything. “Whoever that is would like you for who you are, Hiro. If they can’t see how great you are as yourself then it’s their loss.”

Hiroto looks at him, some kind of relief in his eyes. They walk home after that. Tatsuya talks about everything else besides the topic of earlier. Hiroto eats dinner over at his house. When Tatsuya is left alone again, he breaks down wondering how he was able to keep a smile up for that whole moment before.

The pounding of his heart hurts harder than before. In the end, he decides to sleep everything off, hoping that it all won’t come back tomorrow.

  
  
  
  


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Something was wrong. And if anyone notices that it was then they don’t point it out. They just let the feeling drag on the air until it finally disappears. Tatsuya finds this hard to ignore though, especially with the rapid paces of events that are happening lately. Falling in love slowly over the years, realizing you’re in love in the course of an hour, and then all of that getting shattered in just a second. It wasn’t ideal, and now Tatsuya wonders if this is even worth it at this point — if _love_ was worth it at this point because maybe it really isn’t and that pain can stay nonexistent to him if he just kept up a wall around his heart like he used to and kept rejecting girls and boys alike on a daily basis. 

Tatsuya pauses his walk down the town plaza. _Is this how they feel when he rejects them?_ He frowns. The way days seem greyer, voices get more muted around him, his mind avoiding every thought of a certain someone and shutting it all out with a heavy workload. He’s rejected enough (or too much) people with a stone cold heart and meaningless comforts. It was so easy to be at that end of the situation, but now that he’s here, he can only imagine how much pain he’s inducted into many people.

All of that makes him feel worse. He never really liked making people feel bad about themselves. He’d rather be the one suffering in this world, because he knew he deserved it. Lost in his thoughts, he doesn’t notice the rain pouring until he hears it hitting an umbrella over him. He looks up — it’s pure white with blue penguins on it. He then turns his gaze down to meet eyes with black obsidian ones. 

“You should’ve read the forecast today. It said it’s gonna rain hard.” Ryuuji says as he holds the umbrella over them, slightly struggling because Tatsuya was taller by a bit. “Very reckless of you, Kiyama-kun.”

The sight of Ryuuji eases Tatsuya’s entire existence. He hasn’t seen the latter in a while, having not visited the soccer practices as usual as before. Because of that, there was this huge shift in Tatsuya’s usual routines forming a hole which was always reserved for Ryuuji and his bubbly personality to make a home in. The lack of his presence and the disappointment of not seeing him at a random practice day has made a great deal of Tatsuya’s thoughts — which was already pretty bad due to the situation with Hiroto. He didn't realize how much he had missed the journalist until he saw him today. Seeing him in front of him was like a breath of fresh air. He can finally breathe properly.

“Earth to Kiyama-kun?” Ryuuji calls out in a small giggle. Tatsuya feels at peace with his surroundings having the giggle ring through his ears. He grabs the umbrella from the other’s hands and pulls him closer so that they’re both shielded from the rain.

“Cute umbrella.” He teases the suddenly flustered boy. Ryuuji looks away, “It’s not mine. It’s Jirou’s.”

Tatsuya chuckles as they start to walk somewhere with better shelter. They make it to a cafe across the street. It was warmer inside the venue and so Tatsuya offers to pay for the drinks. After a small argument to which Tatsuya wins, Ryuuji reluctantly makes his way to a table as the redhead successfully orders and pays for their food. Their drinks arrive not soon after and they fall into a comfortable conversation.

“Kiyama-kun,” Ryuuji keeps his hands warmed by holding his coffee cup. Tatsuya preferred tea over coffee. “You should take care of yourself a little more. You’re always thinking about other people. How about you? Who’s taking care of you?”

Tatsuya smiles at the way the other is fretting over him. He shakes his head, “I’m not all that important, Midorikawa. There isn’t any need to worry over me. It’s a waste of thought.”

Ryuuji looks genuinely offended, “Huh? Of course you matter. What are you even talking about?”

“I’m just saying that you’re wasting time worrying about me when I’m not even important.” Tatsuya repeats. He takes a sip of his tea which Ryuuji has no idea how he’s able to drink because tea tastes bad in his opinion. “Anyway, where have you been? You haven’t been visiting lately.”

“I didn’t think anyone would notice.” Ryuuji sheepishly smiles. Hiroto hasn’t noticed yet, or if he did then he hasn’t said anything about it yet. “I’ve just been preoccupied with other schoolworks. You know what my workloads are like.”

“I know.” Tatsuya hums in response. There was something so serene about being here with Ryuuji at the moment. Relaxed and quiet. It was always so stress relieving to talk to the younger boy like there wasn’t much to care about in the world. Pure, sweet Midorikawa Ryuuji. 

“You seem really sad nowadays, Kiyama-kun.” _Ah,_ how could he forget how intensely observant the pure and sweet Midorikawa Ryuuji is. Tatsuya smiles, “Nothing to worry about. I’ll be fine.”

“So you’re just gonna be like that, huh?” Ryuuji frowns. “I don’t know why you’re like that but it’s not okay to keep things bottled up to yourself. A lot of people care about you. _I_ care about you. You can’t fight things alone, nor can you just be so careless with yourself. It’s not good for you.”

Ryuuji reaches over to hold his hand. It’s warm, because the coffee cup was burning. “Please know that I’m always willing to listen to you, Kiyama.”

Tatsuya’s usual smile fades down. It was always easier to hide things behind a smile, even if that sounded really cliche. He always found it safer to do so, and throughout all his years of living, he thinks he’s already mastered the art of hiding behind a smile.

“I never really asked to be like this, you know?” He breathes out slowly “I’m just a people pleaser. Trying to make people like me because I can’t do it myself. I’d rather throw myself in fire for other people than let them hate me. So I listen, I’m nice and now because of it I don’t know how to take care of myself.”

Ryuuji looks at him with soft eyes, asking him to continue. Tatsuya does so, “I was abandoned by my parents when I was really young. I was supposed to be sent to an orphanage but my aunt was nice enough to keep me. She’s sweet and takes care of me well but it was always so different if it was my real parents.”

“Because of that, people at my old middle school used to make fun of me. I didn’t like myself because of that. I was unwanted and hated by my parents and then so many people around me. I was a loner. No one wanted to talk to me.” Tatsuya bites his lip nervously. Ryuuji holds his hand a little tighter. It was new to see this side of him. The grand and headstrong Kiyama Tatsuya being so unguarded at the moment. “It was so bad that my aunt had to convince everyone that she’s my mom so they’d leave me alone. She still does it until now even if I don’t need it. But it worked for the most part back in middle school but it only ever stopped when I met Hiroto and he scared everyone else away for me.”

Tatsuya laughs softly at that memory. Ryuuji’s heart starts to ache thinking about it, and then it aches harder thinking about Hiroto. “When I got to high school, I wanted things to change so I just…”

He closes his eyes and takes a small breath. When he opens it again, Ryuuji is still there listening. His heartbeat steadies a bit more under the other’s touch. “I studied harder, tried to make more friends, became the captain of the soccer team and put people ahead of me. I tolerated so many things. I still do. I take care of the people around me because I don’t want them to ever feel as left out as I did before. I became really selfless, and really really _liked_ by so many people. It’s what I wanted, but I’m aware of what costs it comes with.”

“And it’s just when you’re at this point.” He turns his hand over to hold Ryuuji’s. “When you’re at _my_ point, you’ll realize that no matter what you do. You’re never really going to be enough for people.”

“Well,” Ryuuji looks at their hands then at Tatsuya. “Not everyone’s going to like you, even if you’re some saint. It comes to show that by the end of the day the ones who truly matter are the ones who’ll stay by your side through everything — even the ugliest parts. People who like you for you. Who stays with you for you. That’s what matters right?”

Tatsuya rethinks through all that’s been said to him. He’s said those words before to so many people and hearing it redirected to him makes him realize how hypocritical he’s been. He can change that though. There is still time to make things right — to make things better. 

“Plus,” Ryuuji smiles softly. “us orphans gotta stick together, don’t you think? We’re less alone that way. We have each other. Me to you. You to me.”

Tatsuya’s eyes widened a bit at that statement. Ryuuji watches the realization creep into his eyes. The redhead lets a smile grace his face, a real one this time. “Whoever gets you must be the luckiest in the world, huh?”

“I… I, uh…” Ryuuji gets caught off guard. Tatsuya chuckles, “Midorikawa, thank you so much for this. For… for being here for me right now. I feel better now thanks to you, and uh…”

The other was still thinking about the previous statement to even catch up with the conversation. Tatsuya takes a hold of both of his hands and brings up to pull him a little closer, “You’ll be there at our game next week, right?”

“Y-yeah.” He nods, mind on overdrive and unsure of how to handle the situation currently. Tatsuya’s teal eyes shine like the starry night sky. He’s faced back to reality. “Yeah, of course I’ll be there. I wouldn’t miss it for the world, Kiy-”

 _“Tatsuya.”_ He corrects the other boy. “It’s Tatsuya.”

“It’s Ryuuji for you then.” He bursts into the nth smile of the day. “I’ll see you next week then. Okay, Tatsuya?”

“I’ll see you there too.” He mirrors the smile before softly adding. “Ryuuji.”

  
  
  


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When the day of the game comes, Ryuuji is accompanied by three people. Jirou joined along saying he had nothing to do today, which was the biggest lie ever told due to both Genda Koujirou and Fudou Akio being on the soccer team. Ichirouta was dragged along by Jirou and when he said he had something to do today, it was false and that was just his stupid excuse in trying to get out of the outing. The third friend came in the form of Afuro Terumi who came along for unknown purposes. It wasn’t a bother really. The group of three hung out with the angel from time to time when Jirou and Ichirouta thought it would be nice to interrupt Terumi and Ryuuji from their student body duties to chat about school rumors in the council room.

“I really did not want to come here.” Ichirouta slumps on his seat. Natsumi was in the front row seats cheering for her boyfriend who was smiling and waving at her. Jirou pats his friend’s back sympathetically, “Too late. You’re already here.”

“You got us some really good seats, Terumi.” Ryuuji smiles while snapping pictures of the venue. The angel seated beside him smirks proudly, “Of course! Who do you think I am?”

“Kinda suspicious though.” Jirou comments “I never really pegged you as someone who liked sports at all. You’re all… I don’t know, not hyperactive and not wanting the sun to taint your skin or something.”

The other merely flips his long blonde hair back over one shoulder and crosses his arms, “I have my interests, and it’s really none of your business.” 

“I was just saying.” Jirou narrows his eyes. Ryuuji speaks up before an argument sparks. Jirou and Terumi were always ones with strong opinions and debates — even if the topic was just about pizza toppings. “The game is starting soon.”

“How exciting.” Ichirouta drops his head on Jirou’s shoulder. The other pats his head softly before focusing on the game in front of him. Ryuuji prepares his camera while Terumi just gazes his eyes on the field like he didn’t even care but it did seem like he was searching for someone.

After loud cheerings that will surely break their voices tomorrow and a plethora of pictures taken, the game ends with their team winning. By the end of it, Ichirouta was sitting up and happily cheering as Jirou smiled fondly at the other. Ryuuji snaps a picture of his two friends, eyes the picture weirdly then turns to Terumi who has mysteriously disappeared. 

“Where did—” “Hey, Midori.” Ichirouta says as he stands up, Jirou does the same. “We’re heading out.”

“Wait, Jirou. You’re not going to visit your two little admirers?” Ryuuji stands up along with them. The eyepatched boy shakes his head, “Nah, don’t think I’m interested. Akio’s just gonna brag about all the good plays he’s done today and Koujirou’s going to be too nice about everything. Also, I wouldn’t want to push Ichirouta into doing more things he doesn’t want to do. It’s already enough to be dragging him here.”

Ryuuji watches his two friends leave, chatting excitedly between themselves as if they had more plans to go to after leaving the venue. He wonders if those plans would’ve included him if he was still hanging out with them as frequently as before. He starts to think. When did they get so _close?_ or for a better word, _closer._ He shakes his thoughts away. He _has_ been hanging out with other people than them lately so he wasn’t sure if he could say anything about it.

He decides he can look into that some other day and makes his way to wait outside the venue for Tatsuya like he had promised a few days ago. A part of him had considered being here for Hiroto but he wasn’t really sure where he stands with the latter. He seemed so determined to be better for him. Ryuuji can’t stop that but he doesn’t want him getting hurt with the way things were obviously going. He doesn’t want Hiroto getting hurt, _ever._ It wasn’t fair to him, and he constantly feels like shit for doing this to him — liking Tatsuya when there’s Hiroto who’s trying to pursue him.

It was all so unfair. But Hiroto doesn’t seem too bad the more that Ryuuji thinks. He’s stupid and mean and says the most irrational things to ever come out of someone’s mouth, yet in the same sense, he’s sensitive, innocent and passionate. He can see him trying and not going back on the words he told him that day.

He really wasn’t all that bad. The way he smiles softly when watching Ryuuji teach him some shitty math problem. His hugs were so warm too that he could possibly melt into them forever. Then there was that kiss. _God,_ Ryuuji feels his face burn at that. There were many times where he would look back to that even when he shouldn’t. But to be honest, how could he not? He never knew Kira Hiroto would taste so sweet.

Deep in his thoughts, it gets cut off when something really cold touches his neck. He jumps up and almost screams. He meets eyes with a laughing Kira Hiroto, fresh out of the shower and in his club tracksuit holding out a cold can of iced coffee. Ryuuji feels his heartbeat in his ears, thinking that it might be the result of the shock and takes the can gingerly in his hands.

“I made sure that I got your favorite.” Hiroto hums as he stands in front of the journalist. “Even if I think that coffee is really bad for your health. You should try drinking tea.”

“You shouldn’t dictate what I should and should not consume.” Ryuuji says, matter-of-factly. Hiroto smiles and pats his head softly, “I know. I’m just trying to look after you, sweetheart.”

“Ah, right.” Ryuuji feels his face burn up at that. Hiroto now uses his concept of teasing into ways of flirting with him. It’s something Ryuuji’s having a hard time dealing with because now his brain goes on overdrive and he can _never_ stop the blush from creeping up his cheeks. Hiroto keeps a smile on his face and they start to fall into a conversation about the game today.

Meanwhile, Tatsuya is having a hard time navigating his way out of the venue. He’s received a text from Ryuuji that he is waiting outside for him and with the swarm of girls trying to get his attention and the fact that Shirou has left him alone when he promised to help him make it out of here was not helping.

He was never that good with his sense of direction — maybe that’s exactly why Hiroto opted to walk him home all the time. When he walked out of the venue, there was still a large crowd of people exiting with him. After some difficulty maneuvering through and the act of jumping up to get a clear view of the crowd, he spots a crown of green hair being overshadowed by familiar curly grey and white hair. 

For a moment, he pauses wondering to himself if he should approach. Ryuuji was there and he was sure that he might be waiting for him still. Hiroto might just be keeping him company considering that there were so many people that Ryuuji might get caught up in it. Tatsuya was on fair grounds with the latter, selling the act of being completely normal around him while letting himself sulk about things when he’s finally alone. Hiroto doesn’t have to know everything. 

He takes a step forward and second guesses again. Should he approach them? They looked completely fine on their own. They were immersed in their own little world and conversation. Since when did they get this comfortable with each other? 

The quick exchange of words, the raised eyebrow Hiroto has on his fond expression when he speaks to Ryuuji, the heat that rises up Ryuuji’s face as he talks back to him in an excited yet flustered manner, the soft smile on the player’s face as the journalist chats away their whole conversation. He remembers quite well that neither of them mentioned they were anyone special to each other, or let alone closer than what friends are.

They looked… _nice_ together. There’s warmth in Tatsuya’s body that soon gets overwhelmed by dread. It hits him there on what was happening. Ryuuji and Hiroto. Hiroto and Ryuuji. The one Kira Hiroto likes is Midorikawa Ryuuji. There’s no place for Tatsuya to fit in — who was he kidding?

There’s this feeling bubbling in his body. He didn’t have to know everything. Hiroto can have his secrets. Ryuuji can have his too. It didn’t matter if he was friends with one of them for his whole life. It didn’t matter if he felt like he finally found someone who understands him with the other of them. It really didn’t matter. He doesn’t have to matter.

He decides to stop thinking, step back and walk away. 

  
  
  


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Everytime Ryuuji sees a head of red hair he perks up only to be disappointed later. Hiroto notices it the first time, but only says something when Ryuuji’s shoulders slump by the fifth. He tries to meet his eyes, “What’s wrong?”

Ryuuji doesn’t really notice him until he gets flicked on the forehead. He pouts, “What the hell was that for?!”

“What’s wrong, Ryuuji.” He repeats, in more of a statement. The journalist lets his shoulders slump once again. He’s been waiting for Tatsuya as he was excited to see and talk to him again. Don’t get him wrong; he likes Hiroto’s presence — but he was really looking forward to seeing the redhead. Hiroto patiently waits for his response. Ryuuji doesn’t know if it’s a good idea to tell him.

The taller sighs, “Are you looking for Tatsuya?”

Looking like a deer in headlights, Hiroto gets his response. He crosses his arms. To be honest, he wasn’t mad and in fact, he already knew this even without Ryuuji saying anything. “Don’t act so shocked. I know you’re here for Tatsuya. I just wanted a little time with you for myself, okay? I already promised myself that I’d leave after he would arrive which is turning out to be a really long time.”

“Shouldn’t you be grateful for that?” Ryuuji manages to tease “More time with me?”

“I guess so,” Hiroto laughs before his smile slowly fades “But even if I like you, I still respect your current feelings. I’m not going to force you into anything. I mean it’s _Kiyama Tatsuya_ we’re talking about. It’s hard not to fall in love with that guy. Besides, he makes you happy, doesn’t he?”

Ryuuji frowns. He knows Hiroto is hurt by this. He has no idea why he’s still pushing for it if it’s just giving him pain. The taller breathes in, “But that means I have to try harder. I’m not giving up on you, Ryuuji.”

Some part of him is grateful at the other’s willpower, but that can be a thought for another day. For now, he decides to let himself drown in anxiousness which Hiroto comes to notice. The dual haired clicks his tongue, “He’s taking really long, huh? I wonder if he got lost in the venue. He has a bad sense of direction.”

Ryuuji manages to laugh at that. He then shrugs, “Or maybe he ditched me. I texted him that I’m waiting here but he’s still not arriving.”

“Tatsuya isn’t the type to ditch.” Hiroto ponders then looks at the journalist “Especially if it’s people he likes the presence of.” Ryuuji blushes a bit. The other sighs, “And if he did ditch then I’ll be doing something about it. I can’t believe he’s making you wait like this.”

“It’s fine.” Ryuuji assures “Maybe he’s busy, or I don’t know, maybe he got caught up in a bunch of his fangirls or whatever.”

“Tatsuya doesn’t like girls.” Hiroto says “Actually, he doesn’t really show any interest in the concept of love which is surprising since he’s like the ultimate boyfriend material or something.”

“Is this your way of scaring me away from him?” Ryuuji rolls his eyes playfully. The other laughs but shakes his head, “No, I just wonder why he’s like that when he could literally have anyone he wants.”

“Guess I have to try harder then.” Ryuuji smiles as he throws away the can of iced coffee. “I’m not giving up that easily.”

“What is this? A challenge?” Hiroto crosses his arms and raises an eyebrow “Who tries harder to make the other fall in love with them?”

“Don’t flatter yourself. We’ll just get hurt in the end.” Ryuuji doesn’t want to admit how trapped he feels in this situation, or maybe he’s just too scared to admit how he doesn’t feel trapped at all. The feelings he’s garnered for Tatsuya and this ongoing thing with Hiroto. They both feel so natural, like both of them were perfect for him. Together. Both of them. Was he being too selfish with this? Is he cheating?

“Stop thinking so much.” Hiroto flicks his forehead again and leads him to a bench. They sit down. “Let’s wait for Tatsuya.”

“You can go.” Ryuuji nudges him “I can wait for him by myself.”

“I’m not leaving you alone.” Hiroto takes out his phone to send a bunch of text messages to his best friend. “We’ll wait and when he arrives, I’ll leave. As simple as that. No need to think so much, sweetheart.”

“Fine.” And so the two of them wait. Sooner or later and before they know it, it gets too dark. Ryuuji secretly thinks too much but not enough for Hiroto to notice. He’s worried and disappointed and those are things he couldn’t hide enough for Hiroto to not see.

When the moon has settled too high in the sky, Hiroto stands up and looks around. It was almost empty and Hiroto wonders why they haven’t left earlier. Ryuuji was just so determined that way.

“Ryuuji, let’s go home.” He calls out to the other who’s staring at his phone. He sighs and takes it away from him. The journalist tries to reach out for it but Hiroto pulls him up. “Let’s go home.”

“I can wait a little longer.” Ryuuji’s voice is small. The taller boy says nothing and interlocks their fingers to drag him away. The other seemed too tired to argue so he let the other do as so. 

Hiroto tries not to do anything about the way he can hear the other sniffle. He knows Ryuuji is too proud to let anyone see him cry so he decides to pretend he doesn’t know. He drops him off at his house where he meets his roommate with gravity defying white hair. He asks him to take care of the younger boy. The roommate scoffs and says that he doesn’t have to be asked twice. 

Hiroto leaves soon after, heart aching for two different reasons — for two different people.

  
  
  


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The thing is that Hiroto _knows_ Tatsuya. He knows the way Tatsuya works. The things he likes and dislikes. The things Hiroto should and shouldn’t force on him. He knows how much the other loves completely invalidating himself and how much it breaks him. He also knows that the other isn’t the best when it comes to talking about his own feelings. It took him a while to acquire the trust the other has given him, but now that he has it, Hiroto makes sure to treat it with utmost care and reciprocate the same amount of trust back to him.

Another thing he knows is how the other has been feeling off these days. He has felt it. He knew it had all started back when he told Tatsuya about his crush. He knew something went wrong after that. The redhead is fully convinced that Hiroto hasn’t noticed, but in reality, he just pretended that he didn’t because he knew better than to force the truth out of him. He knew if he did the other would just instinctively lie about everything and that wouldn’t make anything better. 

And even if he didn’t show it, he was worried about him. Tatsuya already does so much for him and Hiroto constantly feels like shit for not giving enough back. So knowing that he ditched on Ryuuji for unknown reasons has made him drown in a whirlwind of emotions. He’s angry because of what he’s caused for Ryuuji, worried because something could’ve happened to Tatsuya and hurt because Ryuuji is trying to act like he’s okay right now as Tatsuya still hasn’t talked to him about _anything_ yet.

It’s been five days.

“I gave you enough time.” Hiroto says, slamming Tatsuya’s locker shut. Everyone in the locker room turns their heads to them. He could’ve picked a better time but he’s impatient, angry, worried… _hurt._ There’s a flow of silence before the two of them hear everyone scramble out of the room. Hiroto is glad that they took the message to leave them alone. “Too much time to be exact.”

Tatsuya sighs, unnaturally calm. It makes Hiroto’s anger spark louder than the rest of his emotions. Did he not care about this at all? The redhead spares him a look before walking past him. Hiroto stops him by grabbing his shoulder, “What happened to you?”

“You don’t have to know.” Tatsuya just says before shrugging off his hand. The taller boy doesn’t back down, “Yes, I do. Just to make things clear, I know something is off with you. You’re not good at hiding it.”

Tatsuya doesn’t look back at him, “It’s nothing.”

“It’s nothing my ass, Kiyama Tatsuya.” Hiroto scoffs “Why did you ditch Ryuuji?”

“Ryuuji?” Tatsuya whispers to himself. The two of them are already on a first name basis? 

“He was waiting for you after the game.” Hiroto explains “He waited until _night_ for you. I stayed with him because I didn’t want him to be alone. What the hell is wrong, Tatsuya?”

The redhead gulps whatever feeling is crawling up his throat. Ryuuji was waiting for him — for so long too. He can feel Hiroto’s stare at him, piercing through his body. He lets his mind speak on his own, laying his truths out on his sleeve. “I saw you two together. Looked like you were having fun. I didn’t think you nor him needed me there. So I left.”

“You _left?”_ Hiroto narrows his eyes. “That’s it?”

“Do I need to say more?” Tatsuya wants to get out of here. The door was just right in front of him. He doesn’t want to blow up in front of Hiroto and say things he actually means. He can leave right now, go home and wash away these feelings over sleep and restart the next day pretending to be normal. He doesn’t have to say anything. No one needed to know.

“Yeah?” Hiroto sounds incredulous. _“Yes, you do._ You don’t just… fucking _leave_ people waiting without a reason. If you didn’t want to see him then you could have left a message so he didn’t have to sit there looking like an idiot waiting for someone who isn’t even going to show up. Do you know how horrible Ryuuji felt after that day?”

“Then what does he have that I don’t?” Tatsuya almost shouts. He turns around to face a genuinely startled Hiroto. The captain was never one to shout. “What does _he_ have for you to be wrapped around his finger like that?”  
  
“What are you talking about?” He asks dumbly. He doesn’t really know why he hasn’t told Tatsuya that it was Ryuuji who he likes. Maybe it’s because the other never asked or never showed curiosity. Maybe Hiroto was scared — scared of what is what he doesn’t know.

“He’s…” Tatsuya’s head starts to hurt thinking about all of this. He’s avoided it for so long. Why does he have to confront it now? “I’ve been with you since we were in middle school. We grew up together. I stayed by your side through _so_ many things. I listened to you, helped you. I fucking defended you towards _everyone,_ even when you were in the wrong sometimes. I did my best to keep you in this stupid soccer club even when everyone says shit about you, even when I’m hurt by it already. I’ve been patient. I’ve waited for so long with you.”

Tatsuya steps closer to him. Hiroto watches him with wide dreaded eyes. “I always made sure you were okay and happy. I always made sure you got the better end of the stick. Was that not enough for you, Hiroto? What am I lacking when it comes to us?”

“You’re…” _No._ Hiroto has never felt a greater deal of fear until now. Kiyama Tatsuya, eyes practically begging, asking him if he was not enough. He was more than enough if he had to be honest. He was too much, too _perfect._ He was something Hiroto never deserved. If anything, _he_ should be asking him that question. Not Tatsuya. How could he think this way? “You’re not lacking, Tatsuya. W-why are you… _No._ It’s never like that. It’s okay. _You’re_ okay.”

“Then why?” Tatsuya feels like he’s going insane. He ripped his heart out and laid it out in front of Hiroto only for him to do nothing about it. “Why don’t you like me back?”

“Like you…” It hits Hiroto then and there, like a car accident or a meteor dropping on the face of the earth. He meets the other eyes. The redhead’s teal eyes are distressed and broken in pieces. Hiroto feels his stomach twist tightly. He made him like this. He made Kiyama Tatsuya fall apart. It’s all his fault. “Tatsuya.”

“I do so much for you.” He explains, hand running through his hair leaving it messy. “I-I reject everyone who tries to ask me out because I always run back to you. I keep so many things from you because I don’t want you to worry more when you already have so much on your plate. I encouraged you to go after your crush even if it hurts me so fucking much because he makes you happy right? I can’t do that. I can’t make you happy but Ryuuji can. Ryuuji makes you happy, doesn’t he?”

“He…” This can’t be right. Hiroto can’t live a life being happy knowing that he’s hurting Tatsuya like this. He doesn’t deserve that. Hiroto can’t live knowing Tatsuya is being tortured by him. That he never gets his own happy ending. He doesn’t want to see him battered and bruised. He doesn’t want him losing his mind over things he should never be considering. He doesn’t want him crying himself to sleep every night. He doesn’t want him to keep giving himself away. 

Hiroto wants him to smile because that he deserves. He wants to go to sleep knowing that the other is peacefully drifting into it. He wants him in his arms knowing he’s safer that way. He wants to give back to him because that’s what he deserves.

Because Kiyama Tatsuya deserves the world.

“Tatsuy—“ “It’s okay.” When did he start crying? Tatsuya laughs, or tries to but the tears get in the way. “It’s okay! If you’re happy, it’s _fine,_ Hiroto.”

“It’s not. It never is. Tatsuya, listen—“ “It’s fine.” He shakes his head, and steps back when Hiroto tries to reach out for him. “You don’t have to… say anything. It’s stupid really. I shouldn’t have said all this.”

Wiping away his tears hastily, he grips his bag and turns to leave. Hiroto stays still knowing that nothing he can say right now can fix things. Tatsuya sighs _shakily,_ “I’m leaving.”

Hiroto doesn’t say anything which Tatsuya takes as a sign to finally leave. He tries not to look back, apologize and try to fix everything he had just messed up, but he ultimately bumps into someone on the way out.

The person falls — green hair and petrified black obsidian eyes that Tatsuya has been thinking of lately. A breath gets caught in his throat as the other hastily tries to stand up. The captain was too stunned to help him up.

“Ryuuji—?” “S-sorry, I… I didn’t mean to hear all of that.” He confesses in a fluster of words. Tatsuya sees the way he breathes heavily, the way he won’t meet his eyes, the way his mind is obviously a mess at the moment, and the way his words spell guilt and fear. Ryuuji stands up, almost falling down in the process. Tatsuya would fail to catch him either way — he’s been failing at a lot of things regarding the other lately. 

“I’m sorry.” Tatsuya doesn’t want him apologizing. He doesn’t want him breaking down like this because of him. He wants to reach out but the other turns to run away. 

The walk home felt longer that day.

  
  
  


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The next few weeks go by in a blur. The tournament ends before they know it and in a round of more unfortunate events toppling what was already horrid, they lose at semi-finals. No one blames anyone for anything. 

Tatsuya copes slowly, avoiding Hiroto who’s giving him as much space as he needs while being haunted by the last clear image he got of Ryuuji every night. Days feel repeated — walking home alone, or studying by himself. Shirou has made a small effort to stick by his side nowadays along with Mamoru and his girlfriend. They give him nice company, but it never really fills up his days like Hiroto’s blatantly rude remarks or Ryuuji’s excessive chattering.

On the other hand, Ryuuji blocks himself out of the world. People barely hear anything about him these days as the boy buries himself in more and more work while simultaneously ignoring every single person that tries to talk to him. As he does so, he shows up to school less often which will soon be not going at all with the pace of things currently. Jirou and Ichirouta take turns in checking up on him everyday but only receive unread messages or his roommate telling them to leave every time they show up at his apartment.

In the end, everyone decides to give them space. Because they think that’s what’s best for them. Tatsuya’s friends stay close but never pressure him into speaking until he’s ready. Ryuuji’s friends let him distance himself until he is willing to face them again. They lie in wait. They stay patient, because even if they worry, they trust and understand.

For Hiroto’s case though, that wasn’t happening. After Ryuuji stops going to the tutoring sessions then stops going to school completely and as he lets Tatsuya mend in his own time even if he hates leaving him alone, Hiroto has found himself in a pit of nothingness. He’s fucked up a bunch of times in his life, but that was only because he never really cared about the outcomes of it. But now, he feels empty and lost — unsure where to start in trying to fix this mess.

He _wants_ to fix all of this but he’s struggling because Ryuuji doesn’t want anyone talking to him and he doesn’t want to hurt Tatsuya more than he has already. The two of them haunt his mind on a daily basis making him gradually feel more like shit. 

In a horrible attempt to cope, he relapses into old habits — ignoring the way Ryouhei warns him and ignoring Terumi’s annoying flood of texts and repeatedly running away from him every time the latter locates where he had skipped school for the day. (Although, he should know better than to be ignoring Afuro Terumi, but with things currently happening, he couldn’t care less.)

He knows he has to face things soon. Not now, and even if he wants it to be now, he knew better than to ruin things more than he already has.

  
  
  


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Terumi had gotten quite enough of this nonsense. _Sure,_ he wasn’t the best when it came to life advice but he tried his best for his friends — Hiroto was never an exception. He doesn’t give a shit if he’s currently in an emo episode of spiraling emotions. He doesn’t give a shit if he needed space. There were two things in Terumi’s mind currently; the fact that Hiroto was back to skipping class and breaking rules which was causing trouble for him and the fact that he’s sad and that’s his way of coping which was causing worry for him. And what better way to kill two birds with one stone than to do something to make the boy feel better.

The thing is that Terumi honestly cared so much about the people around him which was namely the reason why he was given the role of council president. He was popular _and_ kind. And even if he sounded condescending and full of himself most of the time, he’s sure people would still understand where he was coming from, right? 

He doesn’t like it when people ignore him and his effort to make them feel better — and Hiroto chose death the moment he did both of those things to Terumi at the same time. So in his natural angel fashion, he’ll be doing something about it. But first, he needs information and moral support. And thank whatever god watching over him because he knew just the person. 

He strides to a certain classroom where a teacher was in the middle of a discussion. The said teacher cuts off her train of words when seeing the lovely boy at the door, “Ah Afuro-kun! What brings you here, darling?”

“Good afternoon, Nakamoto-san.” He smiles his best which isn’t a lot of effort because in all honesty, he is the best. “I’d like to excuse Fubuki Shirou. We have important business to take care of.”

The class stares at the said boy with pity. Maybe it’s because when it was Terumi who was excusing students it was usually due to something bad happening. Shirou knows better (or he hopes he does) and calmly makes his way out of the room where Terumi grabs his wrist, says thank you to the teacher and drags the boy away.

“What’s going on for you to be excusing me in the middle of class, Terumi?” Shirou wasn’t mad. In fact, he was really happy. Nakamoto-san was infamous for her really boring history classes. “Is something wrong? Did _I_ do something wrong?”

“No, not at all.” He shakes his head as they maneuvered to the council meeting room. Terumi is quick to scan the room and hallways before dragging Shirou into the empty room. His shoulders ease, “Okay, we’re alone now.”

“Great.” Shirou eases up as well and immediately wastes no time wrapping his arms around the other’s waist. Terumi relaxes into the other’s touch, resting his head on the other’s shoulder despite being slightly taller than him. “I knew you were stressed the moment you arrived at my classroom. What’s wrong, angel?”

“Everything.” He complains, feeling the way the other rubbed circles on his back. He feels himself calming down. He stares up at him with wide pleading eyes, “You _have_ to help me on this one.”

“Of course. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t?” Shirou hums softly as Terumi pushes himself away from him to steal a loving kiss on his lips. The two have been together for quite a long time now, having met in their first years of highschool. Although they just decided to keep things lowkey to avoid the attention of it all and besides, they liked having something only for themselves. They weren’t really against being public about their relationship but they guessed that it was just better (and more amusing) to watch people slowly realize it for themselves and then have no confirmation if it was true or not. Perhaps the two of them were just mischievous that way. A perfect pair made by the heavens.

With a quick explanation of events through Terumi’s dramatic over-explanation and Shirou’s tendency to steal kisses, the two have reached the same page of things. Shirou almost laughs, “So you’re telling me that you stole me away from my history class because you’re worried about someone else’s relationship?”

“You weren’t listening.” Terumi pokes his cheek “It’s _Hiro-kun’s_ relationship, and he’s ignoring me.”

“Love, if you wanted attention, I would literally give you all of mine.” Shirou laughs while tucking strands of the other’s blonde hair behind his ears. “But now that I think of it, Tatsuya-kun _has_ been a little off lately. Plus, there was that scene in the locker room too.”

“See? Even Midorikawa has been off! He isn’t even going to school anymore.” Terumi reasons “And if he did then he’d just excuse all the workload I’ve been giving him!”

“Maybe it’s because it’s _your_ workload that you’re giving him—” “Shh! _Quiet._ That is not the point right now.” Terumi shakes his head. Shirou could only smile. “They’re dumb and in love but they don’t know it. We have to do something.”

 _“We?”_ Shirou sighs “We’re just two people who quite frankly shouldn’t be meddling with other people’s business. You _know_ that, angel.”

Terumi stares at the other, steals a kiss (a too passionate one that knocks the wind out of Shirou’s lungs), and stands up, “We, as in the two of us, and other people…”

Shirou doesn’t know if he likes the sound of where this was going. Terumi smiles, “and I know just who.”

  
  
  


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It’s been days since Ryuuji stopped irregularly heading to classes and just completely disappeared. He’s actually aware of the worry extruding from the messages Jirou and Ichirouta are rapidly sending him — but he couldn’t really care at all. There were also some messages sent by Tatsuya too. Daily reminders to take care of himself and hopeful ones as if asking for a conversation. He tries not to succumb to them. He wanted to get as far away from everything relating to his school as possible. He wants to get as far away from both Hiroto and Tatsuya as he can.

He didn’t mean to overhear that conversation that day. He just figured that he should go and visit them and probably be able to talk things out with Tatsuya like he always does. He didn’t expect the two to be in a heated argument the moment he arrived. He also didn’t expect that Tatsuya was actually in love with his best friend this whole time. 

In a weird sense, knowing that piece of information didn’t really hurt him. Tatsuya and Hiroto always looked pretty good together. And so after that, most things started to make sense to Ryuuji. Why Tatsuya was so happy when he realized that he was helping Hiroto with his grades. The too long stares Tatsuya would give the other even if he and the journalist were in the middle of a conversation. The reason why Hiroto’s name would always be brought up in their conversations even if he wasn’t even there with them. Now Ryuuji was reaping the realization that through all of that, he’s been hurting Tatsuya by being the one Hiroto likes. 

Not only that, but Ryuuji saw the fear set in Hiroto’s body when the argument was ongoing. Maybe he was ruining everything for the both of them. He doesn’t want that. He doesn’t want to be the reason why Hiroto and Tatsuya’s relationship with each other would break. He was the problem.

Tatsuya’s teal eyes brimmed with soft tears. Hiroto’s hands shaking ever so slightly in fear. Both images scar Ryuuji's mind. He needed to get away from that, from _them._ Maybe things would be so much better with him gone. Tatsuya would be happy, and Hiroto wouldn’t have to suffer so much over him.

As he retreated under his heavy duvets, he doesn’t hear footsteps approaching him until there’s something poking his body.

“Get your ass out of bed.” A voice. Ryuuji was too dead inside to even process who was speaking so he just mentions the most likely person to be in the same house as him.

“Fuusuke, leave me alone.” Ryuuji mutters into his pillows. There’s a snort, “Try again. It's Haruya.”

“Even _worse._ You’re here to steal our food and Fuusuke’s bed again?” Ryuuji scoffs “Try not to be loud tonight. I want to play sad music and be emotional and I can’t do that when you and him are having hate-sex over, I don’t know, banana bread.”

“For the record,” Haruya pokes his body again. Ryuuji is close to murdering. “That happened _once.”_

“Leave me alone!” Ryuuji shouts, but it wasn’t that loud with the way his face was buried in pillows and how he hasn't used his voice in so long. There’s a new set of footsteps, “Leave him alone, Haruya.”

“Whatever.” The said boy huffs. “And if I wasn’t feeling so nice today, Ryuuji, I would totally fuck Fuusuke just to spite you.”

“Can you guys please stop talking about our…” The new voice sighs. _“Private life.”_

“I don’t know how you’re dating when all you two do is fight.” Ryuuji continues to sound incredibly mean. Haruya and Fuusuke exchange looks. “It doesn’t make any sense! I only introduced you to each other because I knew the two of you _wouldn’t_ get along.”

“Now that’s your mistake.” Haruya singsongs innocently before his eyes turn dark “And it doesn’t mean I hate him means I don’t want to make him scream my name every night.”

“Please _shut up,_ Haruya. I’m not planning to argue with you right now.” Fuusuke clicks his tongue and approaches the boy under the duvets. Ryuuji feels the spot beside him drop down then a small pat on his body. His roommate softens his voice, “Ryu, when was the last time you ate?”

“Earlier.” He mumbles, not wanting the other to hear it but also not having the heart to ignore his question.

“Earlier…?” Fuusuke questions.

Ryuuji sighs in defeat, “Earlier this week… or something.”

There’s another sigh coming from Fuusuke. Even back in their time at the orphanage, the older boy was always so overly caring about him despite trying to hide that fact with his cold exterior. Ryuuji remembers far away memories in the orphanage where he’d scrape his knees or get lost during some field trip. He’d always be met with worried eyes held together by cold scoldings and tough love. He always knew that behind all that talk was a fragile heart. Fuusuke wasn’t really the type to lay his feelings out in the open after being abandoned by his parents, but with the soft spot he’s garnered for Ryuuji as they grew up together and the way Haruya _always_ knew which buttons to push, he was starting to loosen up a bit.

“I know you’re frustrated, or sad, or _whatever_ but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take care of yourself.” Fuusuke chides lightly “And if you don’t want to, then at least let me and Haruya be the one to.”

“Ryuuji could die and I wouldn’t care.” Haruya mumbles, earning the meanest glare from his boyfriend. In return, the redhead boy willingly takes back his words, “I didn’t mean that. What I really meant is that I’ll kill whoever made you like this.”

Fuusuke still doesn’t seem impressed by this declaration. Ryuuji speaks up, “It’s not their fault. It’s my fault. So I have to be the one suffering.”

“Is anyone blaming you?” Fuusuke asks. Ryuuji pauses before sighing loudly, “No one needs to blame me for me to know it’s my fault! I’ve hurt them and now that I have, they’re not on good terms. And I don’t want to see them in bad terms. It makes me feel like shit. I want the best for them. I want them to be happy.”

“And you want that for them because…?” Fuusuke continues to prod on the topic. In irritation, Ryuuji pops his head out of the blankets and glares at his roommate, “Because they obviously mean a lot to me. What part of that… do you… not...”

Haruya almost fails to hide in a snort. Fuusuke quirks an eyebrow up at his roommate smugly, “I don’t know, Ryu. What part of that do _you_ not understand?”

Warmth starts to blossom in the pit of Ryuuji’s stomach. He doesn’t notice his face turning red until Haruya points it out, “Aw, Ryu is in love.”

“Am not!” He pettily throws a pillow at the other to which he dodges. Fuusuke laughs at the exchange. It rings in both the two’s ears. The white haired stands up, “If they mean a lot to you then stop running away from them. They deserve you just as much as they deserve each other.”

“Thanks, Fuusuke.” Ryuuji manages to smile at his roommate and childhood friend. The white haired then sighs and pushes Haruya out the room with him, “Okay, we’ll be bringing in food here to force feed you whether you like it or not.”

Ryuuji knows he can’t argue, not with him. Fuusuke smiles, “I made your favorite.”

The day gets drowned down by continuous arguments by the two idiot boyfriends, binge watching movies and Fuusuke’s very lovely cooking that reminds him of home.  
  


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Ryouhei finds himself inside the student council meeting room. He hates it here and it’s only been about three minutes. He came here late on purpose just to see if Terumi would let him go but the angel was annoyingly determined and sent him a threatening text that he was waiting for him in the room. (And he would never admit that it actually made him _kind of_ scared.)

He has no idea why he’s even needed here, or why there is an array of other students here that he doesn’t even know the names of. Terumi who was standing at the end of the long meeting table clears his throat. There was a whiteboard behind him and a bunch of writings on it.

“Let’s start this meeting.” The president declares happily. Everyone else seemed confused as to why they were there and why there were a bunch of papers messily sprawled on the table in front of them. The only person who seemed normal about it all was that silver haired boy who looked like some kind of prince.

“And what is this meeting even for?” A boy with aquamarine hair tied up in a ponytail. He looks slightly interested, but maybe he was forcing it. An eyepatched student beside him reaches out for a paper on the table, “What even _is_ this?”

“Well maybe if you let me start this meeting then you’d all understand.” Terumi huffs. The rest of the table exchange looks before deciding to listen. Ryouhei, on the other hand, decides otherwise, “Whatever this is, count me out.”

“Not with this you aren’t.” A phone gets thrown at Ryouhei who easily catches it. He scowls at the angel who smiles innocently. He reads what was on it.

  
  


**Mizukamiya-kun** **(o^▽^o)** **○** active twenty-four minutes ago

> ah, alright! 

> it’s nice to see that ryou-kun is helping out with this… 

> i’ll see what the cooking club could do for your little plan, afuro-kun. 

> you know i’m always here to help!!!! (b ᵔ▽ᵔ)b

  
  


Ryouhei fights back whatever emotion crawling up his expressions right now because he’s aware of how everyone in the room was staring at him waiting for said reaction. He also doesn’t want Terumi to feel victorious with winning him over with this so he merely hands back the phone with a blank face and leans back on his chair, “Start the damn meeting.”

The council president smiles, “I knew you’d love to help out, Ryou-kun!”

The table bursts into whispers, ranging from what could that thing on the phone could possibly be to an unimpressed voice saying that Terumi had totally blackmailed him. (Which was true anyway.) The meeting starts and Ryouhei just keeps the text message in mind. _The way he uses emojis are kinda cute…_

“So as I was saying!” Ryouhei gets cut off of his thoughts. The angel points at the whiteboard, “We’ll be holding a school festival.”

“And why are you telling _us_ this?” Blonde spikey hair scoffs. Ryouhei has given up on trying to learn their names. “Shouldn’t you be holding a meeting with the actual council members and not us?”

“Maybe if you let me fucking _talk,_ Gouenji, then you’d all understand.” Terumi’s patience cuts just like that. The whole room shuts up and Ryouhei resists the urge to snort. “You aren’t even invited here.”  
  
“Endou suggested that me and Gouenji come with him. Something about the more the merrier.” A dude in pretentious goggles says. The said goalkeeper smiles in response.

“Well as I was saying,” The council president continues, “If you haven’t noticed, Ryuuji, Tatsuya and Hiro-kun aren’t on good terms. So I invited some of their nice friends here so we can help them get together. It’s tiring seeing them run circles around each other.”

“I don’t think we should meddle in their business, Afuro-san.” Goggles sighs. Terumi shrugs it off, “It’s going to be _fine,_ Kidou-kun. We can even ask more people to help! Like Fudou and Genda.” 

“I don’t think that will help…” He replies in response, thinking about those two people. Eyepatch, on the other hand, shrinks on his seat at the sound of those names.

“And so you think a school festival would work?” Ponytail cuts off their conversation with a frown as he looks at the paper Eyepatch was holding. Terumi stares at him with determination in his eyes, “Not only will it be a treat for the students who have been dying in their academics these days but it’s also a perfect set up for those three idiots. Me and Shirou have thought about this very carefully.”

“Shirou?” Endou Mamoru (the only person Ryouhei seemed to care to know the name of) gasps lightly. “Since when do the two of you talk?”

The prince (or _Shirou,_ who really gives a shit about names) merely smiles, “That’s not the point right now, Endou.”

The goalkeeper crosses his arms childishly as he stares at the two, _“Suspicious.”_

“Endou—” _“Anyway,”_ Terumi clears his throat to get everyone’s attention as they start to talk over each other. “This is a perfect full proof plan. All we have to do is set a date and get everything prepared for them and for the students.”

“I guess this could work.” Goggles takes a paper from the table and views through it. “I really would like a break from academics as well.”

“I see everyone is on board now.” Terumi says excitedly. He ponders for a moment on what he’d like to wear on the day of the festival. Excusing that thought, he smiles at Shirou who was already looking at him. He feels a lot more safe and confident after that so he claps his hands together, “Right. Let’s get started, shall we?”

Everyone agrees in response.

  
  
  


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Two more days pass and Ryuuji is back in school on a regular basis. He doesn’t have a plan yet and is unsure how he’ll be able to fix things but he had some things that he knew. He likes Tatsuya _and_ Hiroto, on a same level which is terrifying and it makes him feel selfish. He isn’t going to approach them yet because he’s unsure if it’s already safe to and also because he was unsure if he was ready to face them already.

He knows he has to make things right with them, or at least enough for the both of them to be happy with each other like they used to be. It’s what they deserve. What Ryuuji deserves could always wait until later. He had already told himself that seeing them happy is the most important thing, and that by the end of it, he’ll be happy if they are. 

He feels agitated not being able to do much besides think. He’s been in love with Tatsuya since he met him in his first year of high school. It’s been a long time since then — journeying through nervous meetings to regular interviews to getting comfortable and chatting to now. The captain has always been some type of inspiration to him. He was kind, sweet and smart yet as the days go by he realizes that Tatsuya wasn’t all _that_ and that he was often jealous of anything, selfless and a little bit oblivious. He wasn’t as perfect as the boy Ryuuji met before but knowing who he truly is was something that made him treasure the other deeper.

When Ryuuji’s mind starts to think of Hiroto, it momentarily hurts in habit. Maybe it’s because Hiroto always induced the worst of his headaches but then soon the boy tended to be the one easing them out. Despite his rough edges and impeccably snarky remarks, Ryuuji found a home in his arms. He was secretly sensitive and soft underneath those tough layers. Hiroto’s touches are always so delicate and cautious that it makes his skin burn. It hasn’t been long, but Ryuuji is learning to live in it. Falling deeper the more he sees him like cherry blossoms scattered on the cement sidewalk.

“Midori!” He gets tackled into a hug. He almost falls down but he picks himself up before he does. His attacker steps back. It’s Ichirouta, looking happier and feeling healthier than he last saw him. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” He smiles. Jirou follows after with a smile of his own, “We’ve been worrying about you.”

“About that…” “It’s fine though.” Ichirouta interrupts “We understand. It’s just next time at least update us a bit, okay? We kinda thought that you died or something.”

“Right.” Ryuuji breathes out and nods. Jirou walks closer to the two of them when Ichirouta releases him from the hug. 

“Also!” Ichirouta hums, linking their arms together as the three friends start to walk forward. “There’s a festival happening soon. Do you know about it?”  
  
“Yeah, I’ve been informed by Terumi about the details while I was at home.” Ryuuji says. It was such a random message at a random hour of the day. And a school festival? They barely do those kinds of things, but then again, Terumi was spontaneous like that so he didn’t question it. “It’s all kind of sudden…”

“You have to bring a date.” Jirou voices out loud like he was pondering it in his mind. Ryuuji laughs at that, “You have many choices. Got trouble choosing?”  
  
“I might go alone.” He answers back with a playful roll of eyes. Ichirouta continues the conversation, “How about you, Ryuuji? Planning to take Tatsuya out?”  
  
“I…” Ryuuji of a few months ago would’ve considered that wholeheartedly. Ryuuji of a few months ago before Kira Hiroto, before the talks, the tutoring, the kiss, the umbrella under the rain, the lunch at the field, the ditching and the crying. Midorikawa Ryuuji before the _two_ of them. “I’m not sure. I feel like Hiroto and Tatsuya should just go together. They deserve that much. I can go alone, unless Jirou would like to be my date.”

The eyepatched boy merely snorts at that. Ichirouta looks at Ryuuji, “So what are you going to do now?”

Ryuuji just hums, “Nothing really.”

  
  
  


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Tatsuya and Hiroto find out that Ryuuji is back at school at the same time. It goes like this: Ichirouta messages the secret group chat about the new presence in the morning. Later during that same morning, Tatsuya and Hiroto change into their uniforms quietly at their respective locker designations. Shirou walks in happily chatting with Mamoru who had his eyes locked on his phone.

Shirou is talking about random things at a loud enough voice, “And so I said that it was kind of stupid. Did Atsuya listen to me? No. Did he regret it? Surprisingly, also no. Although I’m happy he apologized to Nae-chan after it.”

Mamoru is listening intently before a notification goes off on his phone. He smiles, “Hey, have you heard?”  
  
Knowing quite well what it was, Shirou puts on his most clueless face as he asks, “What?”

“Midorikawa is back in school.” He says loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. It wasn’t suspiciously loud because the goalkeeper was already notorious for having a loud voice. “Kazemaru just texted me about it.”

“Is he okay?” Shirou keeps up the conversation after seeing the way Hiroto tenses up and how Tatsuya almost drops his folded school uniform. “I’ve heard that he’s been really depressed or something lately.”

“I’ve heard about that too. Ichirouta told me that it was so bad to the point where he wasn’t even talking to them.” Mamoru tries to hold his excitement in as vaguely hears Tatsuya whisper _‘oh, no.’_ underneath his breath.

Shirou decides to be a little more evil as he sighs, “That’s sad. You know how Midorikawa gets when he’s sad. He can barely take care of himself! Neglecting meals and uneasy sleep schedules. It really destroys him.”

At this point, Hiroto was staring intently at a random object in his locker, obviously listening in the conversation. Tatsuya looked really pale as his now neglected school uniform was dropped on the floor. 

Mamoru decides to drop the conversation at that, thinking that it was already too much. Shirou had other plans as he willingly says, “Whoever made him like that should be feeling really guilty by now.”

And just like that Hiroto shuts his locker very harshly, cutting off all conversations happening in the locker room. He calmly walks outside, uncaring about anybody else’s stare on him. Tatsuya watches him as he does so but decides not to do anything about it as he picks up his uniform from the floor with shaky hands. He has a responsibility to accomplish today and as much as Ryuuji has been haunting his mind lately, he’s sure that now wouldn’t be the best time to approach things. When the time comes, he will get to him. For now he could just send another useless message and hope that Ryuuji decides to pick up this time.

He can wait for a little bit longer. Everything will be fine by then, and the last image he had of Ryuuji wouldn’t be his heavy breaths, eyes that won’t meet his, an obviously messy mind, and words that spelt guilt and fear. He’ll make sure by then a smile would grace his lips again and that would be never the last but the continuous image he’ll have of him.

He shuts his locker softly and tells everyone that practice should be starting soon. Shirou follows in suit, nudging Mamoru at his side with a smile on his face that makes the goalkeeper a little uneasy, “I guess our work here is done.”

The other watches as the princey boy walks out of the locker room. He never knew Shirou had that type of _character._ He shakes his head to rid his thoughts. Terumi must know something about this.

  
  
  


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**Tatsuya** **♡** **○** active fifteen minutes ago

> hey ryuuji! i heard you’re back at school again

> i hope you’re a little bit better now… the club has been pretty lonely without you visiting it these days

> don’t forget to take care of yourself, okay? and that there’s a lot of people who really care about you

> that’s all for now, i guess

> let’s talk more soon (⌒‿⌒) !!!!!

  
  
  


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Hiroto runs. Ryuuji was back and after that conversation he overheard in the locker room, he knew he needed to see him right away. It’s been months since he last got to talk to him properly. It’s been months since the encounter in the locker room with Tatsuya. It’s been months since everything spiralled down. Hiroto has been trying to show as much patience with the two of them, but he’s come to terms that it’s slowly driving him insane.

Tatsuya has been feeling more and more distant everyday. Hiroto is afraid that he might lose him soon and that thought alone has him wide awake every night. The confession keeps him paralyzed to do anything more for him. He feels like he’s let Tatsuya down in the worst way possible. So all he’s been doing is giving him space but Hiroto is slowly realizing that it’s only because he feels too disappointed in himself to look at Tatsuya in the eye.

Now he stays up all night wondering if he’s made it home safely because he isn’t there to walk him home anymore. He wonders if Tatsuya remembers to bring his house keys because he usually forgets it. Is he taking care of himself? He knows the other tends to forget and that’s what Hiroto was there for — to remind him and to be there for him. He regresses for a bit. But he isn’t there for him right now, is he?

Thinking about the other makes him forget why he’s losing his breath right now. In the end, he decides to give up on finding Ryuuji and sneak out of the campus. 

On that same day and at the moment of dismissal, Hiroto finds himself back at school.

“Hey.” He says as he pushes himself off of the wall in front of the school gate. He was wearing casual clothing as if he had gone home to change. Tatsuya, who was clad in his school uniform, says nothing and stares at him. The confusion and surprise was obvious in his eyes.

The redhead looks around for a bit then readjusts the strap of his duffel bag on his shoulder, “Hi.”

“Let’s go home.” He says as he takes the duffel bag away from the other’s clutches. Tatsuya was too shocked to do anything but he appreciated the help as he was carrying his book bag and even if the pain of the encounter still bubbled in his body, he also appreciated Hiroto’s sudden presence. 

The walk home is quiet. None of them say anything. Tatsuya doesn’t ask why he’s doing this. Hiroto doesn’t tell him why he’s here. They make it to the captain’s place in less than seven minutes. It was a quick walk but the silence made it feel much longer. Not that any of them were complaining. A part of them was glad to be in each other’s presence, but both are too stubborn to admit it.

Tatsuya has his house keys and walks in. Hiroto greets his aunt (or mother, or whatever it was) and waits for a moment before the feeling in his body eases with the fact that the other is home and he’s okay. He’s safe.

After that day, it becomes part of their daily routine.

  
  
  


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Everything almost gets back to normal. Hiroto meets Ryuuji at the other end of the hallway. They greet each other and make small talk. Hiroto decides to throw himself out there and tease the younger a little bit. Ryuuji decides to bite back. Saturdays get brought back as their days after the green haired finds out that Hiroto’s grades dropped back from where they tried to save it from. They fall back to the start and never mention anything before.

As for Tatsuya, he meets Ryuuji on the soccer field when it is raining. The latter doesn’t have an umbrella so the captain shares his with him. Ryuuji makes a comment about the plain design. Tatsuya tells him that he didn’t own this and that it was Shirou’s. He sees the way the journalist smiles, but it didn't seem full. The image of him from their last encounter never washes away in his mind, yet none of them say anything about it.

Hiroto and Tatsuya continue to walk home together. What was once silent walks turn into conversations about their day. Tatsuya makes it home safe everyday. Hiroto sometimes stays over for dinner. They take turns in caring for each other. Although it becomes one sided when Hiroto tries harder for Tatsuya. The captain still stays waiting while Hiroto works to be someone deserving of the universe. None of them comment on their change of roles.

If someone _does_ say something, then it was Ryuuji who persuades both Tatsuya and Hiroto to ask each other out for the school festival. Blinded by unspoken emotions and Ryuuji’s returning enthusiasm that both had fallen in love with, they agree to it.

  
  
  


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“You’ve overdone it, Terumi.” Ryuuji says at the night of the festival. The stars were visible in the sky at this point as the lanterns for each stall the school clubs had put up were rivalling them. The journalist shifts uncomfortably in his _yukata_ that he had borrowed from Ichirouta. His camera was held gingerly in his hands while he followed the other boy around as they inspected the venue to see if there was anything out of place.

Terumi looked ethereal. He was sure his _yukata_ was worth a lot more than he’d like to think of. His hair was down but his left side was slightly pinned back by a small _kanzashi_ that reminded Ryuuji of angel wings _. Heavensent,_ He thinks then wonders how this boy isn’t in a relationship yet.

“You don’t have a date for the night, Midori?” Terumi questions innocently as they walk side by side. Ryuuji was quietly snapping pictures of everything he passed by. He smiles at the other, “No. I was just planning to spend the night taking pictures and helping out with stalls.”  
  
“What?” Terumi halts their walk and crosses his arms. “But it’s a festival! Why are you still in your workaholic mindset? Let loose a bit, Ryuuji! Eat something nice, walk around, drop that camera of yours and don’t miss the fireworks tonight.”

The scolds of the other pass through one of Ryuuji’s ears to the other. He _does_ plan to enjoy the night but in his own way. He doesn’t mind taking pictures for the school newspaper all night or helping out other students with their stalls. He doesn’t have a date anyway and surprisingly Ichirouta and Jirou went together with Koujirou and Akio as a set of four. 

He sighs to try and ease his friend, “I will. Don’t worry about me, Terumi. How about you enjoy things now and I’ll inspect everything else myself, okay? Do you have a date waiting?”  
  
“Ryu—” “Yup! The date is right here.” Fubuki Shirou swoops in and whisks Terumi away just like that. Ryuuji stands there in slight confusion at the unlikely pair as they walk away. He vaguely hears the silver haired prince reprimand the angel saying to leave Ryuuji alone already.

He’s alone again just like that. There’s a soft pang in his chest when he realizes that but then it soon goes away when he starts walking again. He syncs his steps to the sound of his heartbeat. The festival was bright and beautiful. The students’ smiles shining just like the lanterns that graced each stall. It makes him happy and a little less alone.

He spots two boys walking together at a different side. Ryuuji knows they can’t see him — not with the way Tatsuya’s eyes shine as he pulls Hiroto by the hand to a random stall. The taller of the two smiles fondly back at him. Ryuuji snaps a quick picture of them because he knows they won’t notice. Then they disappear like that and their smiles imprint in his mind. He feels warmer because of it, knowing that they’re happy together.

When the pang in his chest gets harder, he washes that feeling away by helping Seiryuu with his own stall.

  
  
  


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“This is really nice, isn’t it?” Tatsuya asks as he and Hiroto enter the venue. It was an open celebration set on the outside part of their school. The other just stares at the bright lights shining in the captain’s eyes. The back of their hands brush against each other ever so slightly as they browsed through the assortment of stalls.

“It’s okay.” Hiroto merely says. Terumi really did too much for this and to be fair, it was really nice. Tatsuya laughs at how the other’s answer betrayed the fascinated look in his eyes.

“What do you want to do first?” He nudges his friend slightly. Hiroto snorts, “Anything that you want to do is fine with me. You know I’m not the type to do this kind of shit.”

Tatsuya remains staring at him. Hiroto rolls his eyes and takes back his answer. He knows the other won’t feel good about doing things he only wanted to do without anything in return. 

“But if we can watch the fireworks later,” He smiles softly “Then I’m okay for the night.”

“Alright. That sounds like a plan, Hiro.” He says as he grabs his hand suddenly to pull him deeper into the festival venue. Hiroto couldn’t do anything, not that he _wanted_ to do anything, so he let the other drag him around.

The two spend their night just like that. They try out every food stall they pass by. Hiroto had brought a lot of money because he knew the redhead was secretly the type to want to be spoiled a lot. Through their festival endeavours, he tries to keep the smile on the other’s face for the whole night. It didn’t really quite reach his eyes but Hiroto still tried anyway.

They pass by gaming stalls. They bump into Ryouhei who challenges Hiroto in a water gun shooting game to which the latter inevitably loses. Despite this, he stays cocky as he tries to win prizes at random stalls for Tatsuya. He loses most of them but was able to win the one Tatsuya wanted especially.

The two walk around with the green alien plush hugged in Tatsuya’s hands. Hiroto doesn’t really remember the other being interested in things as such so he asks, “Why did you want that so badly?”

“It kinda reminds me of Ryuuji.” Tatsuya holds it out to take a better look at it. Hiroto thinks of the journalist for a moment then realizes he hasn’t seen him around for the whole night. It’s not that he forgot about him, but he just hoped that he’d end up bumping into him sooner or later. At this point, he was looking around in hopes to spot the boy. He doesn’t and so he turns to Tatsuya who’s hugging the plush again and seemingly looking around the venue too.

“We’ll see him soon.” Hiroto assures knowing what the other was thinking about. “Maybe he’s busy. You know, his passion for journalism beats his will to enjoy a day.”

“Well, he enjoys taking pictures so it’s not a loss for him.” Tatsuya laughs “I bet he’s having the time of his life walking around with his camera.”

“I think so too.” Hiroto smiles at the thought of that, “You think we could ask him to take pictures of us?”  
  
“Don’t think he’ll allow it.” They start walking around again. “He always told me that he had a strict policy of his camera only being for journalism purposes only.”

“Uptight as always.” Hiroto jokingly scoffs “He seriously needs to chill out sometimes. He’s literally everywhere at every time doing everything. I just want him to sit down and relax at times.”

“I tell him that all the time.” Tatsuya says fondly as he thinks back to all the time he’s tried to make Ryuuji stop talking about work for a moment and relax with him on the soccer field to just rest and breathe. “For someone who’s always talking, he sure doesn’t know how to listen.”

“He’s a handful.” Hiroto thinks of Midorikawa Ryuuji and his mess. The same mess he’s learning to help him clean up and organize. The other never really knew how to pick up after himself which was surprising with how stuck up he was most of the time. But even with this he smiles so freely and even if he cares so much about so many things, he acts like things aren’t a big deal.

Tatsuya notices the moment Hiroto stops talking. He doesn’t know what to say anymore. He wonders where the journalist is right now, or if he would want to come along with them. He wouldn’t mind a third party. He wouldn’t mind Midorikawa Ryuuji with them. He wouldn’t mind him walking between the two of them, filling in the gap that none of them could really fill themselves as two people. _Sure,_ Hiroto was someone of his dreams, but no one ever felt quite like a dream than Ryuuji.  
  
Hiroto opens his mouth to say something, but Tatsuya beats him to it, “I like him though.”

“Huh?” He turns to him. They continue to walk though. They don’t really know where they’re walking towards, but everything was so blurry to Hiroto except Tatsuya beside him. “What was that?”  
  
“Nothing.” He shakes his head and smiles. “I just see what’s so amazing about him now. It’s kinda stupid how I didn’t see it before. Maybe I did, but didn’t realize it until later. He’s always on my mind because of it. I always wonder what he’s doing because _yeah,_ he’s literally everywhere at every time doing everything. It’s hard to get a hold of him because of it.”

Hiroto doesn’t know when they stopped walking, or when they got caught up in the crowd of people. Tatsuya is closer to him because of it, trying not to get separated from him because of the mess of people. Hiroto holds his hand in case he ever does get lost. 

“He’s a handful but,” Tatsuya turns to him. He’s really close now. “It just makes you want to hold him more, you know?”

“I know.” He whispers out. It’s loud around them and he wonders if Tatsuya caught what he had just said. 

The other smiles, “Let’s go watch the fireworks.”

Hiroto dumbly nods back and suddenly they have maneuvered themselves out of the large crowd. They find a nice place in one of many of the large fields they had in their school. Hiroto thinks about how nice it would be to play soccer on grass like this then thinks about the soccer field located at the other side of the school.

Tatsuya pulls him down to the space beside him. They’re on a bench as they were one of the luckier ones to snag one before it all got taken. He stares at the sky, “I heard the firework display is going to be really nice tonight.”  
  
“Knowing that stupid angel, he’d go all out in everything…” Hiroto crosses his arms, trying to hide his excitement for the event “No matter how small the thing is. He’ll know how to make it ten times better.”  
  
“Just say you’re excited for the fireworks display and go.” The other teases, “We should thank Afuro-kun for this when we see him again.”  
  
Hiroto rolls his eyes at the thought. If there was one thing he hated more than death defying heights was that victorious smirk Terumi gives out when he’s feeling extra proud of himself for something he knows he’s responsible for. 

“Hey.” Hiroto is pulled out of his thoughts. Tatsuya looks up at him even if they’re almost the same height and sitting. The firework display is starting soon, but he has no intention in looking forward — not when Tatsuya was looking at him like this. “Thank you for tonight. I had a lot of fun.”  
  
“It’s what you deserve anyway.” He pats the other’s hair “And what I owe you.”

“You don’t really owe me anything.” Tatsuya says with a frown. “If that’s what you thought then—”

“No,” Hiroto shakes his head. “It’s just…” He sighs deeply, closing his eyes before opening them again to look at Tatsuya’s. He was never the type to give attention to people, let alone meet their eyes, but Tatsuya’s were always so familiar and it makes him feel calmer. “You spent our whole lives doing everything for me. I always take it for granted, and in the same sense, I always wanted to give back to you.”  
  
They don’t realize that the firework display is starting. Hiroto continues, “But I was never the best person, and you’re just… the _greatest_ person. I never thought that anything I could possibly do for you could be enough, or could be something you deserve… or something that could make you as happy and safe as you make me.”

Tatsuya’s wide eyes gaze at him. Hiroto breathes out, “And all I want is for you to be happy. I don’t care if I owe or don’t owe you anything. I always wanted you to have all the things in this world because you deserve that much. I just never thought that one of those things should be me.”

Tatsuya’s hand touches his.

“When you confessed,” He sighs, “I feel like I disappointed you so much. And it wasn’t because I don’t feel the same but because I made you feel like you weren’t enough — when you’re not! You’re not, Tatsuya. You never are.”

“Hiro.” Tatsuya’s lips turn into a straight line. The taller boy can’t really read his expression at the moment. In the end, the other just sighs and leans back on his chair to look forward but not up at the sky where it was currently painted in colors. “I don’t think you understand how much you already make me happy by just being here with me.”

“I never expected to get anything in return for the things I do for you. I just do them to make you happy because I like it when you are.” Tatsuya hums “And that itself is already what I need for myself.”  
  
“And,” He continues before Hiroto could get a word in. “I’ll never get disappointed by the things you do. You know all that matters to me is you. That day, I was just so caught up in emotions that I said things that didn’t make sense at all. I’m sorry for making you feel like you have something to give back to me just because I like you. You deserve to be happy without thinking about what it could do to me.”

“Tatsuya.” He calls out. The other turns to him. “I don’t think _you_ understand what I’m trying to say.”

“What?”  
  
“I figured out some things when everything I learned to love started to disappear.” He looks away this time to lean back on the bench. “That I have someone… well, some _people_ that I have to work harder for. That if I wanted to be deserving of them then I had to try harder, for _both_ of them.”

“I can’t be happy without thinking about you.” He shrugs, chest pounding as loud as the fireworks in front of them. “Well, not when you’re one of the things that make me happy, or, you know, one of the things that I want to be better for.”

“I mean…” His face suddenly feels so hot at the moment. He has words at the tip of his tongue but it was hard to spit it out now. Tatsuya was looking at him, he knew so. “That’s what you’re supposed to do to make someone like you back, right?”

There was a firework that was louder than the rest. It blows up in the silence curtained between them. Hiroto peeks at Tatsuya who’s fighting back a smile but the redness of his cheeks were visible even at this late of the night. 

“Yeah.” He says, voice small but loud enough to fight the fireworks in the sky. “It took you long enough to realize that.”

Hiroto pulls Tatsuya into a hug after those words left his lips. He feels all his emotions calm down after that. The other leans into his touch a little more. He could feel him smiling against his hair. Everything was muted in the background. 

And Tatsuya was here, in his arms. In a place where Hiroto doesn’t have to stay up wondering if he made it home safely, or if he forgot his keys for the day. A place where he doesn’t lose sight of him, never losing him to the universe. Tatsuya was here, safer.

“I’m sorry.” Hiroto mumbles into his shoulder. “I’m sorry for making you wait for so long.”

“It’s okay, Hiro.” He holds him back, keeps him in place and anchors him back down into the earth. Then he pushes him away. They stand face to face. Teal eyes looking at pink eyes. “But…”

“What’s wrong?” Hiroto tries to search for the answer in his eyes. Tatsuya smiles, leans in when the last of the fireworks blow up in the sky. Hiroto feels his lips on his and tastes like home. They part when the sky is dark again. 

“We have someone else waiting for _us.”_

  
  
  


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Maybe Ryuuji should feel bad or something. To who was a question he was definitely unsure of, but perhaps it might be towards Terumi because from the looks of it, he didn’t really listen to what the other had advised him to do. He didn’t eat anything nice as he barely ate anything at all. He walked around for a bit before ditching the program and running to the other side of the campus where he is currently laying down in the soccer field as the sounds of the firework display sound behind him. Did he drop his camera to enjoy the festival? Not really, but he has it securely beside him at the moment barely used for the night. His biggest sin towards the angel comes in the fact that he missed the fireworks display and sadly without any regrets too.

He wonders why he doesn’t regret doing so. He was usually one for festivals, big events and things that let him buzz around crowds of people without any problem. He feels empty at the moment, but the stars in the sky are keeping him good company as he lays down on the rough grass of the soccer field. 

His mind filters to Hiroto and Tatsuya. That makes him grab his camera to look at the one of the only pictures he took for the day. He hums contentedly at it before scrolling through other pictures. Some of them were old ones taken at old times. Tatsuya in the cafe. Hiroto asleep on his desk. 

“Are they having fun right now?” He ponders out loud to himself “They’re together… as they should be. I hope they’re having fun.”

When he puts down his camera, he’s met with two large black eyes staring at him. He feels his heart drop as he yelps in surprise. He sits up in a defensive stance and that’s where he sees Hiroto laughing his ass off and Tatsuya apologetically looking at him yet still sporting a smile of his own.

“What are you…” He stutters out as Tatsuya hands him the abnormally large green alien plush that had previously scared the living soul out of him. It looks cute when he thinks of it and when it’s not up in his face. He glares at it with scrutinizing eyes, “This is gross.”

“Then why are you hugging it?” Hiroto drops down beside him, smirking like he always does. Ryuuji doesn’t know if he wants to punch or kiss him. Maybe both.

Tatsuya sits down calmly at his other side, “Where were you the whole night, Ryuuji? We were finding you.”

“And you missed the firework display.” Hiroto then adds as if he hasn’t missed it himself because of the teal eyed boy with him. “That’s like the highlight of the whole night.”

“Wasn’t interested.” Ryuuji says as he drops down into the rough grass. He stares back up at the sky. “How did you know I was here?”  
  
“Tatsuya guessed.” Hiroto lays beside him. Tatsuya follows in suit. Ryuuji feels cramped between their bodies. “And I believed him.”

“Turns out I was right.” The redhead says as Ryuuji turns to look at him. _He’s really close._ He looks back up.

“What are you doing here anyway?” Hiroto looks around to find the whole field empty. The grass felt very rough under him, unlike the grass from the field where the display was at. He turns his body to look at Ryuuji, propping his elbow up to rest his cheek on his palm. “And alone too.”

“Chilling out.” He just answers, keeping his eyes looking up. “Sitting down and relaxing. Looking at the stars. They kinda feel like fireworks, I guess. I mean, they’re just as bright, aren’t they?” 

“What a nice way to put things.” Tatsuya comments in a small laugh. “Did you enjoy the festival tonight?”

“It was fine.” He answers. He doesn’t know what to say, or what they’d like to hear. They weren’t supposed to find him here. _No one_ was supposed to find him here. He was sure he was able to disappear without anyone realizing because it’s been an hour or so since he’s been laying down here. “I took some pictures and helped around. That’s it.”

“That sounds boring.” Hiroto snorts “Did you even have fun?”  
  
“It doesn’t really matter if I did.” Ryuuji then comments as his eyes flick from Hiroto to Tatsuya. _It matters if you guys did._ “I’m already happy to see that other students are enjoying tonight.”

“Then come on.” Tatsuya sits up and looks down at the boy in the middle. Ryuuji’s view of the starry sky gets blocked by red hair and a tattooed blue lighting bolt. “It’s almost ending and we’re wondering if you’d like to spend time with the both of us.”

“The both of you?” He answers incredulously, making his voice come out in some kind of squeak. The two were waiting for an answer and it sparked some kind of worry inside of his body. “I can’t do that.”

The two boys exchange looks, one confused and the other slightly entertained. Tatsuya speaks again, “Of course you can. Why would we be asking you in the first place?”

“Well then,” Ryuuji pushes himself up to face the two. Hiroto sits a little bit better as Tatsuya just stays pristine as always. _“You_ can’t do that. Y-You’re supposed to have fun together. The two of you. You don’t need me.”

Hiroto keeps an amused smile on his lips. Tatsuya’s confusion turns into slight concern.

“And you know,” He tries to explain but it turns into a mess of nervous words. He barely knows what he’s trying to explain at the moment. “Fix things together, and uh, _get_ together. You don’t need me for that. There’s no place for me.”

“Oh?” Hiroto snickers. Tatsuya wants to scold him for using Ryuuji’s state of panic as something to laugh at but he ends up fighting back a smile. “So you control how we feel now?”

“What?” He chokes out.

“If you don’t like us back then you can just tell us.” Tatsuya says as Hiroto falls back down on the grass to lay down. Ryuuji loses the words he had and feels them barricade his throat. 

“Although I doubt that we’re going to give up on you, Ryuuji.” The captain smiles softly before dropping to lay down on the grass with Hiroto. 

“What…” Ryuuji tries to say “do you think you’re doing?”  
  
“What we’re supposed to do.” Hiroto’s eyes are closed. He looks peaceful, like everything he was saying wasn’t sending him into a mental breakdown at the moment. “Fixing things with you, and trying to get together with you.”

“But it’s all your choice.” Tatsuya then adds. His eyes are open, looking at him. He kind of looked apprehensive as he tried to catch every move of his face in search of a reaction. “We _do_ want you to say yes, but we don’t want to be forcing you. We can wait.”

“But…” Ryuuji grips the grass under him, wondering if it will anchor him to this earth and not send him into space. “The two of you are okay now, right?”

“Are we?” Hiroto has the audacity to ask as he opens his eyes ever so slightly to catch Tatsuya’s gaze. “I’m not really sure, to be honest. We kissed and that was that.”

Tatsuya rolls his eyes lightheartedly before pushing himself up again to face the other boy, “We’re fine, Ryuuji. _Better_ even. We’re just waiting for you, if you’ll want us.” 

“We _really_ like you.” Hiroto hums right after that. “Before you ask further questions, we _really_ like each other too. Is that enough for you to answer us now?”

Tatsuya clicks his tongue and turns to Hiroto, “Don’t force him to answer now. I thought we talked about this when we were walking here.”  
  
“Well I’m sorry I want to kiss the fool again, Tatsuya.” He argues back “Can’t I be a little selfish?”

“Again?” He narrows his eyes to which Hiroto returns a shrug with. He huffs, “You know, if you want to kiss someone, I’m literally right here.”

“No, I’m tired of you. You had your chance already.”

The two start to bicker like Ryuuji wasn’t with them. He feels the worry in him fade and turn into something lighter. It bubbles in his stomach and breaks the barricade of words trapped in his throat. He breaks into a laugh to which the two stop arguing at. They turn to him who’s laughing and clutching that stupid green alien plush tightly. 

“I like you too.” He says after the laughter. _“Really_ like you. The both of you. And we could get together, if you’d want me back.”

“Yeah.” Hiroto was first to answer since Tatsuya was too starstruck to say anything coherent. “Yeah, of course we want you. Why do you think we were confessing in the first place, smartass?”

Ryuuji opens his mouth to say something to quip back to what Hiroto had just said but Tatsuya tackles him down to the grass knocking the air out of the journalist’s lungs. The plush toy gets discarded to the side as the redhead pushes himself off to look at him. Ryuuji thought that he could breathe again but the odds failed him when he gets captured by his lips. 

They part a few moments after. Ryuuji feels hot all over. “Woah.”

Tatsuya just smiles in response and pulls both himself and the other up. Ryuuji meets eyes with Hiroto, who was sitting just a meter away from them. The dual haired tilts his head to the side questioningly with a smile dancing on his lips. 

Ryuuji walks towards the other who just watches him quietly. He kisses him a moment after that. Tatsuya laughs at the background of it all and everything finally feels like it’s going to be okay.

  
  
  


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They celebrated the festival until the venue was almost empty but their constant chatter filled up the air like it was still crowded with so many people. Hiroto explains how he had kissed Ryuuji the first time which made Tatsuya get a little petty and kiss the said boy a little more passionately than before. This action causes the journalist to reveal his very long crush on the redhead who shows genuine shock and regret for not realizing the other’s feelings sooner. Tatsuya then talks about memories he had with Hiroto back when it was just the two of them. The three of them fall into line with each other after that.

The night goes on too fast for their initial likings. Hiroto used the rest of his money to buy things nice for Ryuuji to eat. Tatsuya held his hand as they walked around together. He barely remembered about the camera hung around his shoulder as the two boys beside him kept him company for the most part. They meet up with Terumi and their other friends who hand them sparklers to play with as midnight comes.

Ryuuji crouches down as his eyes keep its focus on the brighter sparkler on hand. Hiroto was trying to hide his very obvious fear of it as he held it as far as he could but still watched it fizzle out with awe. Tatsuya used two sparklers then stopped in favor to watch his two lovers play around with it. 

There was chatting around them too. Ryuuji could hear Akio and Jirou arguing over the last of the sparklers as Koujirou tried to break them apart and as Ichirouta laughed at them. He pretends to not notice the kiss Shirou steals on Terumi’s lips when they think no one was looking. He sees Seiryuu waving a sparkler amusingly in front of Ryouhei’s face who is trying to look aloof. Shuuya and Yuuto were there too, sitting on a nearby bench with burnt out sparklers on their hands as they chatted quietly among each other. Mamoru was with Natsumi as they sat quietly together on the ground, laughing occasionally. 

“Here.” Ryuuji looks up to see Tatsuya holding out another sparkler to him. It was then he realized how his was burnt out now. “It’s the last one.”

“Thanks.” He smiles and takes it. He lights it up carefully and watches as it brightens up his eyes again. He doesn’t really notice how Hiroto gets a hold of his camera to take a picture of him, nor does he notice the way the two slowly go through his camera gallery revealing many different pictures of the two of them.

Perhaps the camera wasn’t _just_ for journalism purposes after all.

  
  
  


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“Hm?” Ryuuji makes a surprised sound as he is scrolling through his camera gallery one day. 

It’s been safely a month since the festival and a lot of things have happened since then. The day after the said festival everyone had enough of Terumi and Shirou’s bullshit and inevitably cornered them to force the truth out of them. This had ended in yet another of their stupid yet unbelivably belivable excuses as they found a way to get out of that situation without revealing anything at all. Ryuuji talked to Jirou on probably the same day asking what's up with him and his messed up lovelife. In the end of it, he shrugs the question off and sends a look towards Ichirouta’s direction. Ryuuji decides not to comment on their weird eye language anymore.

In that same month, Ryuuji is always in the presence of two other boys. Tatsuya makes sure that he always has an umbrella to shield him even if it isn't going to rain that day and Hiroto starts getting him into tea to drop that horrible coffee addiction he has, or _had_ before. The two pick him up at his classroom to go and eat lunch or when it’s dismissal and it was time to go home. He wasn’t holding a camera that much as his hands were always full with hands on his own. He gets accustomed to Tatsuya’s sudden kisses or falling asleep on Hiroto’s chest.

He finds himself in Hiroto’s bedroom more times than anywhere else, with Tatsuya casually occupying the bed as he did his own homework in peace and Hiroto in his chair as Ryuuji struggles to teach him what his math homework meant.

Today was a day not different to others. Hiroto was laying idly on his bed, scrolling through his phone as he laid his head comfortably on Tatsuya’s lap. The said boy had his eyes closed as if he were sleeping and a hand carded through the other’s messy grey and white hair. Ryuuji was on Hiroto’s desk as he skimmed through his camera gallery to pick pictures perfect for a school newspaper article.

At the sound which broke the silence in the room, Hiroto turns his head to him as Tatsuya opens his eyes. 

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” asks Hiroto as he places his phone down.

“Nothing.” He says as he spins the chair around to look at the two and show the camera at them. He narrows his eyes accusingly at the two, “When did you take this?”

“Oh, _that.”_ Hiroto muses as he pushes himself off of Tatsuya’s lap. The latter seemed to snap out of his sleep daze at the look of the picture so he follows Hiroto in his walk towards Ryuuji.

“What do you mean _that?”_ He presses his lips into an unimpressed line. “Who gave you permission to use my camera? I told you it’s for journalism purposes only!”  
  
“Hm,” Tatsuya hums as he coaxed the journalist into his arms. Hiroto swiftly takes the camera away from the boy’s grasp and they all fall onto the bed. “You should say that to the one thousand pictures you have of me and Hiro on there.”

Ryuuji pauses, then hides his face on the redhead’s shoulder, “Shut up.”

“Hey!” Tatsuya tries to pull the other out from where he was hiding on his shoulder. “It’s really cute of you to be doing that.”

Ryuuji mumbles something the two don’t catch due to it being muffled by the captain’s shirt. Hiroto pokes the boy on his side to which he yelps at. “Besides, there weren’t any pictures of you on there so me and Tatsuya did you a favor. You gotta admit that the picture is good. _You’re_ good.”

“Whatever.” Ryuuji pushes himself off of one of his boyfriends. He eyes each of them carefully. “Don’t do it again.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Hiroto complains in response. Tatsuya says nothing knowing damn well that he has that same picture as his lockscreen on his phone. Ryuuji merely smiles back at them then continues doing his work for the school newspaper.

  
  
  


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Some time in the future when cherry blossom petals flood the concrete ground during one spring morning, Ryuuji prints most of those pictures out. Pictures of Kiyama Tatsuya and Kira Hiroto. That one picture he took of them smiling at a festival so long ago. Pictures of Midorikawa Ryuuji taken poorly but lovingly by his two inexperienced photographer boyfriends. That one picture they took of him holding the sparkler so long ago. They keep them framed on one of the tables where the three of them can perfectly see it in their shared apartment.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Some songs I listened to while writing this!
> 
> Please Never Fall in Love Again - Ollie MN  
> Not over You - Tessa Violet  
> Paper Rings - Taylor Swift  
> Campus - Vampire Weekend  
> Out of My Head - Ben Chandler


End file.
